In the first few months of our marriage I made an insensitive comment to my wife that convinced her that we were headed for divorce. She insisted that we see a marriage counselor. Although I was not concerned about our marriage, and I didn't really want to see a counselor, I did so out of penance.
The counselor would talk to us jointly and then separately. When I was alone with the counselor she asked me what I wanted out of marriage, and I thought to myself " I really want my wife to spank me and be dominant," but, being a twenties something male I couldn't overcome my embarrassment and say it.
To my way of thinking, the only two things came out of the counseling sessions. My wife was mollified (which was important), and I, many years later, have been able to date my interest in being spanked to my mid twenties. My interest in spanking and other kinks probably predated that counseling event but, I have no way of putting my finger on an earlier date.
One of the reasons I married my wife is because I thought she was a "take-charge" person and I thought she would easily evolve into a woman who would be dominant on some level. I was probably very unclear what level that would be or exactly what I wanted, but I thought that whatever it was it would not be too hard to achieve. I was wrong! My wife turned out to be extremely vanilla with very traditional concepts about the roles partners played within a marriage.
Now, my marriage has been a very good one. However, there has been an underlying frustration, and in some ways an emptiness due to the fact that my wife, though she loves me, does not recognize this need I have for her discipline. I have to admit that I don't understand the need very well myself. However, I know that I want to be lovingly but seriously spanked by my wife, with some frequency, for minor irritations and infractions. My wife thinks this is silly, although, she will humor me from time to time and give me a rather tentative spanking, if I ask. To my wife this is a game. For me it goes a bit beyond a game. I know for me there is a sexual aspect to this, although, sex has not always been associated with the few spankings that I have received. I think that it is alright that the anticipation of a spanking triggers sexual feelings, since marriage is a sexual relationship. The unfortunate thing is that I don't think my wife gets much out of spanking me, either sexual or otherwise. The problem to be solved is how to make spanking me more meaningful and beneficial for my wife.
Perhaps I should go back to that marriage counselor!
(Artist: Barbara O'toole)
The counselor would talk to us jointly and then separately. When I was alone with the counselor she asked me what I wanted out of marriage, and I thought to myself " I really want my wife to spank me and be dominant," but, being a twenties something male I couldn't overcome my embarrassment and say it.
To my way of thinking, the only two things came out of the counseling sessions. My wife was mollified (which was important), and I, many years later, have been able to date my interest in being spanked to my mid twenties. My interest in spanking and other kinks probably predated that counseling event but, I have no way of putting my finger on an earlier date.
One of the reasons I married my wife is because I thought she was a "take-charge" person and I thought she would easily evolve into a woman who would be dominant on some level. I was probably very unclear what level that would be or exactly what I wanted, but I thought that whatever it was it would not be too hard to achieve. I was wrong! My wife turned out to be extremely vanilla with very traditional concepts about the roles partners played within a marriage.
Now, my marriage has been a very good one. However, there has been an underlying frustration, and in some ways an emptiness due to the fact that my wife, though she loves me, does not recognize this need I have for her discipline. I have to admit that I don't understand the need very well myself. However, I know that I want to be lovingly but seriously spanked by my wife, with some frequency, for minor irritations and infractions. My wife thinks this is silly, although, she will humor me from time to time and give me a rather tentative spanking, if I ask. To my wife this is a game. For me it goes a bit beyond a game. I know for me there is a sexual aspect to this, although, sex has not always been associated with the few spankings that I have received. I think that it is alright that the anticipation of a spanking triggers sexual feelings, since marriage is a sexual relationship. The unfortunate thing is that I don't think my wife gets much out of spanking me, either sexual or otherwise. The problem to be solved is how to make spanking me more meaningful and beneficial for my wife.
Perhaps I should go back to that marriage counselor!
(Artist: Barbara O'toole)
4 comments:
Hi John...this blog of yours posted August 13, 2009, titled The Marriage Counselor, could have been written by me, as I seem to be in the nearly exact position as you. The only difference is that my wife is very religious; in fact, she and I are Christians and fortunately I have the Bible on my side. Believe it or not, in the ORIGINAL GREEK it does teach that a wife has (domestic) authority OVER her spiritual head, her husband, and she is to RULE the household! --Ken
POSTSCRIPT: I forgot to add that the inspired scriptures even teach clearly that a wife is to discipline her husband! Yes, I know it's difficult to believe, but I've been studying the Bible for over 50 years and know whereof I speak.
--Ken
Hi Ken,
I studied Old and New Testament in college. Don't remember those verses, but I would be interested to know which ones they are so I could pass them on to C. I suspect they would be Old Testament, and that would be written in Hebrew or Aramaic originally. Hope nothing was lost in translation to Greek.
Thanks for your comment.
Throck
Throck- just going back to read your old posts now... wow, does this sound like me!! :D thank you, thank you...lol! Maybe there is hope for my Wife spanking me more yet!
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