Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Bonding Rush

What I would like to know is, does anyone else experience what I call a “bonding rush” after a spanking? I described it in the post on my last spanking as an incredible feeling of closeness to, warmth for, and dependence on C. Actually, it is even more than that, but that is as close as I can come to a description. It is basically what drove me to blog.

I have experienced the bonding rush in my last three spankings and very strongly in my last two. Perhaps not so strongly in earlier spankings, when my wife was a bit more tentative about spanking. There were long intervals of time between the earlier spankings I received. Consequently, my memory may have faded a bit. I certainly enjoyed those earlier spankings, but I don’t remember the strong rush of emotion after they were over. Is the rush the result of as yet some unidentified mental change in me, or a change in C’s technique of spanking me, or something else entirely?

I wonder if the bonding experience has anything to do with the intensity of the spanking, and whether in the future I will have to endure harder and harder spankings to have the experience. My last spanking may have pushed my limits a bit. I actually want C to push my limits, but I know if I break down in any way that causes her concern, she will stop spanking me. I certainly don’t want that to happen.

In any case, the questions are:

Do other spankees experience the “bonding rush,” or some similar emotion, after a spanking?

Is the rush related to some psychological interaction between spanker and spankee or,

Is the rush related to the intensity of the spanking?

As one becomes a more seasoned spankee, do you continue to experience the bonding rush?

As one becomes a more seasoned spankee, do spankings have to become more intense to continue to experience the bonding rush?

Artist: Jay Em


Widgets said...

Good Morning Throck:
After every discipline session Rachel and i become closer and more in love. The spankings not only make me feel more loved but also more respected and desired. Sharing this with Rachel results in a more positive response which makes us feel together. Intensity does not count but care and feelings do.

This is a rush which makes me feel sexy and desired. I am the supreme woman of aj's life. He will do and take anything for me. When aj first broached the subject to me I laughed it off and did not give a second thought to it and would never consider a man having this type of feeling. However, when for a present aj asked if I was willing to try something very different, erotic and to him enjoyable: and I agreed then I learned that men are not all the same. Most men care for their women and are not bully's and sometime do not want to be macho but human.
A woman to be in charge is not a bitch. All of us men or women do not have to live the stereo type male head of household with woman there to do his bidding many times role reversal is FUN. You must remember that if this is a desire it MUST be communicated to your spouse. When aj took me to a house of dominance I learned to enjoy my physical and emotional self, I did not know that the buttocks are one of the most erotic parts of the human body, that I enjoy giving as well as receiving a spanking, and that sharing this experience and having another woman in charge could result in our love growing in geometric proportion. I admit that this was the time that I learned more about aj and myself and our needs and secret desires.

Earlier I mentioned that your wife has to share with you: this is because she is not a mind reader but she must be liberal enough to want the inner you and her to be happy. We are together reading and sharing these blogs: some will feel this is an invasion of privacy and be turned off, I am not but this is something the two of you must share or one will be frustrated and the other hurt.
Rachel Widget

Burl Apsack said...

I know exactly what you are referring to. I have only been spanked three times, once in June, once in July, and once a few days ago. After each experience a physical longing to be as close as possible to the spanker overwhelms me. Your phrase “bonding rush” describes it perfectly. My problem is that my spanker is not my wife and there are definite boundaries that must be respected so my intense desire to “bond” transforms into a deep sense of isolation. Because of my rookie status I cannot address your questions to the “more seasoned spankee”. Thank you for your blog.

Throck said...

Rachel and aj,
Thanks for your comments. I promise, Rachel, that I will try to get the nerve to broach this blog subject with C. When I do you will be the first to know what happens.


Throck said...

Glad to here I'm not alone in feeling the bonding rush. I'm pretty new at this myself, but a comment from aj Widgets indicates it only gets better. Hope you can overcome your frustration. Have you tried approaching your wife about spanking? It is a hard thing to do, but it can work out.


Throck said...

Another comment:
Rachel indicates that she experiences some sort of "bonding rush" as well. I find that fascinating and I'm glad it happens. I have yet to determine whether C experiences anything like that. I hope so.

Hermione said...

Yes, I do feel a bonding rush, perhaps not immediately, but certainly within an hour or so, and lasting for at least 24 hours or more. We are experienced spankers, too. I think the intensity of the spanking has something to do with it.


Throck said...

Thanks for the comment. It is certainly interesting to get a female perspective on this phenomenon, and I'm glad to note that the bonding rush is not gender dependent. Rachel notes in an earlier comment that the spanker may have a similar emotion as well.

By the way, I am a fan of your blog and wouldn't mind putting a link in my links gadget to you. However, I'm new to blogging and I'm not sure what the protocol is. I've linked a few blogs and realize I probably should have asked before I did it. I'll have to go back and correct that.
Thanks again,

Hermione said...


There really isn't any protocol for adding links to blogs. If you like and visit them regularly, then by all means add them. I would be very pleased if you added a link to my blog. I have added your link to mine.


Throck said...

Thanks for linking me. I will add your blog to my link list today.


Anonymous said... Fully agree with everything you have said: - the post-spanking bonding hug is important preparation for sex, hence my artwork on this subject.

Anonymous said...

Answers to questions: -

1. Yes, I experience this feeling of bonding.
2. Yes, it is related to the intensity. The harder it is done, the more intense the feeling, both with the post-spanking hug and during intercourse.
3. Yes, it gets more intense over time.
4. Yes, because it is proportional to the pain and I build up resistance over time.

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Tony Conrad said...

I am familiar with the bonding rush as you call it. It is like an intense closeness and gratefulness to my wife. Sometimes I cannot resist getting up to hug her during it before she continues. I suppose it is a kind of release in that she knows the worse about you and still accepts you. Or it could be that the sexual freedom is now bringing a release because of the freedom and acceptance. It is indescribable really and helps to really bond the marriage. This probably happens in all good marriages, not only spanking ones, when one knows the other person so well that you know their likes and dislikes and have a deep acceptance of them as a person. It propels me to make sure I also accept her for who she is as it is a very precious thing which makes things thrive.