As an example, on Monday I had an appointment at the hospital that serves our area. I also badly needed to go to the hospital business office and try, again, to sort out an insurance debacle that has been dogging me for nearly a year. I was dreading it. My appointment took much longer than I had expected. I had to be tested and then seen by a physician, who, was running behind. When I finished with the appointment, I thought to myself, “I’ve spent too much time here. I’m not going to deal with this insurance issue today.” I left the hospital, got in my car and drove off.
Five minutes later I was thinking to myself, “C was good enough to put me through a spanking yesterday, even though she was recovering from a cold. She really wants some resolution of this insurance issue, and will ask me about it when I get home. I really can’t tell her I have put this off.” Although, had I gone home that evening and told C I had put off dealing with the problem I might have gotten a spanking. But that’s not fair to C, is it?
I turned around, went back to the hospital, and dealt with the problem. As luck would have it, I got a very decent representative and we may have made some progress.
In the last few months I have been surprised by this connection between spanking and my tendency not to procrastinate in carrying out C’s wishes; I don’t procrastinate, at least not nearly as much. I want to get things done for her.
Now this blog is about a real relationship and I always have to keep reality in mind. I know C views this spanking ritual as a little role play game that she would probably not choose to play given other circumstances. She gets better at it every time, but I know that she does it primarily because she loves me and wants to make me happy.
I, on the other hand, do want C’s control and I want a ritual that manifests the fact that I will submit to her control. I view spanking as the perfect ritual for that goal. The pain makes it real. The remarkable thing is that the control somehow extends beyond the ritual. I don’t quite understand that, but I suppose it may be a good thing.
Artist: possibly Sardax from T.A.K.S.A Yahoo Group