Thursday, September 10, 2009


I read the following paragraph in a description of a “Good Spanking” in the message board of a Yahoo Group.  It is apparently from a now defunct blog, and I assume it is public domain.

After a spanking:

A hug is traditional. No other form of exchange is required, or should be expected. Spanking can be sexually arousing, but to enjoy it to it's fullest it should never be considered "foreplay." It's a very special path to pleasure that creates a satisfaction all its own. Whether erotic or disciplinary, spanking should be enjoyed as just that and not be co-mingled with other emotional experiences and responses. Else all the vitality, relaxation and satisfaction are compromised.

I tend to agree with this assessment and this has been my experience of late.  Mind you, I’ll take a good spanking from C any way I can get it! If she wants to do it as foreplay, so be it.  But, I think I prefer a discipline spanking with simple hugs and cuddles afterward in order to experience the optimum bonding rush.

As it turns out C accidentally head this post.  I had typed it in Word before posting and Word lists the last few posts when you go the file menu.

“So you don’t want to have sex after a spanking, you just want to be hugged?” C said as we cuddled in bed the other night.

The statement caught me off guard.  Did I detect a little disappointment in her tone?  “Where is that coming from?” I asked, realizing almost immediately that she had read the first draft of my blog post.

“I read something you had written in Word.  You said you preferred hugs to sex.”

“Well, that’s what you did the last time you spanked me, and I liked it.  I found this article on a “Good Spanking,” and I thought maybe it justified the reason I liked only hugs with no sex.  I was going to post it to my blog to see what other people think.  But I like sex with you too.  You should read my blog.  I have a hard time articulating these things.”

“Hmmm.  Would you rub my back, please?”

I do have a hard time articulating my thoughts on spankings and sex to C, partly because I only get to do it in thirty second intervals.  That is indeed why I started to blog; to organize my thoughts, to get feedback from people with more experience than I, and at some point relate all of this to C in an organized way.  I don’t mind at all that she read the draft post, but I’m afraid that she may have taken it out of context. 

Anyway, I’ve digressed.  I was going somewhere else with this post.

Do other people find that sex distracts from the bonding rush one experiences after spanking?  Is it better to use spankings as fore foreplay, i.e. have a spanking six to twelve hours before sex?  Since I regard spanking as a submission ritual wherein I demonstrate my dependence and submission to my wife, I regard missionary sex immediately after a spanking as somewhat in conflict with the goal of the ritual.  Furthermore, I don’t recall having the bonding rush when we have used spanking as foreplay.  I really love that bonding rush.

I wonder what other people think.

Artwork by: Miss Francy 


Spnk MeRed said...

i cant imagine having spankings never followed by sex...even having lone spankings with no sexualy play once in a while drives me crazy and that is when it is a strict punishment spanking...i dont consider spanking foreplay is part of sex for holds just as much importance as the actual penetration

Throck said...

Spnk MeRed,
Thanks for your comment. I, like you, consider spanking sexual and the bonding rush I get seems in some ways analogous to orgasm only different. The reason, I think, I prefer to put off intercourse is that I'm afraid it might compete with the bonding rush. However, I don't really mind combining spanking and sex.


Widgets said...

A good hug cleans the air and makes both of us feel relieved that it is in the past and love prevails. Enjoy them both as tension becomes pleasure.
Rachel & aj