Saturday, September 19, 2009

A Punishment Book

How can I manage to get  frequent spankings from C? I love them so much. For the last two months I have gotten one about every two weeks. I could use a spanking much more frequently, but C seems to have a hard time coming up with things to punish me for, and, although she doesn’t really need a reason to spank me, that seems to be the model (the discipline spanking) that has evolved in our relationship.

Yesterday, I floated the idea of a “punishment book” to C. I could record my transgressions in the journal and C could assign a number of strokes for each transgression. I thought that I could write down some of the more common transgressions in the front of the book to help C out, for example, being impatient with her when she asks me a computer question. That always annoys her, and I really should be spanked for that since I’m not a techno whizz myself. C didn’t seem enthusiastic.

“I’ll only spank you when I want to,” said C.

Today C needed some stationary supplies and I accompanied her to the store (with an ulterior motive). I found an inexpensive small leather bound journal. I picked it up and found C.

I showed her the journal and whispered, ”Couldn’t we give the ‘Naughty Book’ a try?”

“Okay,” said C, looking exasperated, and clearly not wanting to get into a discussion in the store. I thought latter that I acted like a naughty child taking advantage of his mother, but I do really want to do something to give C more control and give me more spankings. I mean, really, I should get a spanking for taking advantage of her like that, but she of course will overlook that transgression.

I think it would be exciting to have C make me write in the “Naughty Book” when I have done something, well, naughty. It would underline her control over me and it would give me those wonderful butterflies that I get when anticipating a spanking.

The problem with all of this is that, again, it is “me-focused.” I really want C to enjoy controlling and spanking me. I really want her to get something out of it, but I’m not sure she has reached that point yet.

Anyway, I have to set up the “Naughty Book” with some kind of protocol. For example I was thinking a basic spanking, e.g. maintenance, should be about ten strokes, and strokes assessed for infractions should be added to the basic spanking. It would be at C’s discretion when to give a spanking and how many infractions she would remedy with each spanking. So, for example, if C reviewed the “Naughty Book” and I had been disrespectful (5 strokes), masturbated without permission (5 strokes, if I get caught), waked her up in the middle of the night with my watch alarm that I often forget to turn off (10 strokes), I would get a total of thirty strokes. I don’t know if I could take thirty strokes if she chose the bath brush.

Now, I like the idea of recording all the little things that C could spank me for, and anticipating a spanking is always exciting, but I also like the element of surprise as, for example, when C surprised me with a spanking last weekend.

Anyway, that is the idea. Does anybody have any thoughts or suggestions?


Ryder said...

I'm sorry but I think that is a horrible idea.

Let me understand this. You write: "The problem with all of this is that, again, it is “me-focused.” I really want C to enjoy controlling and spanking me. I really want her to get something out of it, but I’m not sure she has reached that point yet."

She says that she will only spank you when she wants to, yet you "force" her to buy the book and then you write down the different punishments that YOU find appropriate.

Seriously, if you really want a relationship where she is in total control, you have to start acting AS IF SHE WERE! When she gives an order, you follow it. No matter if it's "take out the trash", "get over my knee" or "stop talking about spanking".

Listen, I understand that it is so very frustrating that you don't get what you want and need but you really have to work the right way on this.

Ask yourself the question "How can I get C to take control and spank me frequently?"

The way I see it is that she must SEE that the spankings give HER something. That you try harder when she's spanked you for something. That you make a conscious effort to serve her better in your normal life.

I hope you already know the Disciplinary Wives Club? They have some books that may help C understand the kind of life you need. I guess the "Please discipline me" book would be what you need right now? Link:

Hope you can use some of what I wrote.


Btw, I suggest you go to C with the book and tell her you are sorry you bullied her into buying it. Tell her you will throw it away or use it for something else. DON'T tell her you need a spanking for making her buy it (you do, but again that would be pushing her to punish you. That's called 'topping from the bottom'. Don't do that). Tell her that you will try harder to respect her opinions and orders from now on.

Widgets said...

You are going to ruin a wonderful thing. You have to follow Ryder's advice and mine. C will spank you when she FEELS you merit this spanking and she will control you quietly, as I do aj. You MUST learn that if you want her in control then relax and reinforce her taking control. If she says take out the trash--do it. If you see something you think should be done in the domicile do it. Believe us she will notice it and if it does not meet her standards your hind quarter will pay!

You want a Wip (Woman in power) you have to create the situation. Our situation has evolved over 15 years and aj knows that when he least expects it he will be spanked. I have tanned his butt under a bridge between sales calls he was making, in a hotel, at a picnic grove, in a supermarket parking lot, one night in bed I woke him up for a warming at 1AM. last night while watching the late news on tv, and earlier this afternoon while we were house hunting. He never knows when the spanking will come. I can assure you though he appreciates it for days to come. This adds to his appreciation and love of me and my control.

RELAX go with the flow and C will soon take care of this more often wether it is for a grouchy mood, or just to show you that SHE has the power. Make sure you thank her profusely for taking care of you and maybe you should buy her a little something just for her (not spanking related). She should be invited to participate and critique this blog.


Throck said...

Ryder and Rachel,
Thanks for the comments. Okay, so I guess this was a bad idea. I guess I'll scrap it. The problem is that spanking and C's control is like a drug for me. I start to really crave it. But, I will try to relax and take the lead from her.

I do try very hard, of late, to do everything C wants. I have a long list of things to do today. And, I did buy C something just for her. She wanted a new laptop, so I got it. Now I have to set it up.

Anonymous said...

Use it for a diary, record the pride and effictiveness of her spanking's. Maybe, if you note's are read by her, maybe...she can re-enforce herself.

Widgets said...

You are moving in the right direction. Bookmark on the computer your blog site for her. Always solicit her feelings and thank her for being by you. Put her first in everything you do, and on everything you write (checks, bank account, all legal documents etc) this reinforces her.

Throck said...

Thanks, that sounds like a good idea to correct a bad one. Maybe not as good as a spanking from C to correct a bad idea, but I like it.


Throck said...

I wish she would read the blog, but as far as I know she has yet to do so. I left it up all day. Anyway, I put C first in everything. I have total trust in her. Thanks for your comments and Rachel's too.


Anonymous said...

I'm going to disagree with the others.

Developing the framework of a DD relationshiip is something you both have to work on and requires communication. To some it comes easily and naturally, they see a messy room or a chore not done and reach for the paddle, but not everyone.

So if your book becomes a medium to help identify the scope of your DD, then I think its a good thing.

I mean it hardly seems right to be saying "oops I fogot X, can I be punished" that won't work, but " I need to write in the book?".

After a few of these she'll begin to associate certain behaviours with the book, experience the satisfaction of clearing the slate when it gets full and it will take on a life of its own, you can give some clues without having to be so obvious as to ask for it, she'll (hopefully) start to develop her own ideas on what needs to go into the book. Having just your ideas in it at first is fine if it gives you both a framework to start with, over time she will hopefully contribute her own ideas, things you do that she wants to do something about and then its not "me focussed" any more ....and if she says "No thats silly" the concept (hopefully not) or to particualr types of offences, well thats good to because you are finding out what you both think fits in DD.

The book may not work as you want but but at least you'll know about some things that do and don't fit and can then ry a new tack.

One last thought, if you write 10 things that should be in the book, invite her to add 10 of her own. If that works, do 10 more...


Throck said...

Thanks for your comment. I'm glad not everyone thinks the punishment book is a bad idea. I haven't implemented it yet, though. Based on your comments I'll give it more thought.


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