Friday, August 6, 2010


As I stated in my last post, I am kind of a wimp when it comes to pain. However, it seems that a spanking is not a spanking without very real pain. I’m really not sure why that is the case, but it is certainly my own experience.

A few weeks ago I asked C for a spanking just before we were going to make love. Nothing elaborate, I just wanted to lie over her lap a get a hand spanking. Now, she has complained in the past that hand spankings hurt her hand, so I fetched her gloves thinking that would help. They are not very thick gloves (they are lined leather gloves that she uses in the winter), but I thought they would give her hand some protection and they are also sexy on her.

I lay across her lap and asked her to spank me hard and fast as if she were giving a real spanking. She did, but there was no pain. She barely turned my bottom pink, even though she claimed to be spanking me as hard as she could. The spanking would have been a lost cause except for the fact that I got to lie naked over her bare thighs. The spanking itself was pretty unsatisfying without the element of pain. As Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts commented in her brunch last week, “A spanking must hurt, and more than a little, while it's happening. Ideally, it should seem like more than I want at the moment, but create vivid memories for later.” (italics mine for emphasis)

Those are my sentiments exactly. I think most spankees would agree with that statement, but why is that the case. I know about the endorphin theories, but I think there must be more to it than that. Endorphins should be released in any painful event, and I don’t think you would have a bonding rush with your wife if she accidentally kneed you in the groin. There must be something special that happens in the context of spanking that requires the pain to produce the effect, and why does the spankee actively seek that out.

Spankings are fun. The anticipation, the teasing, the dress-up and the bonding are all integral to the satisfying spanking. I have read a number of spanking writers that claim pain is not the real issue in spanking, rather it is how the spanker gets into the mind of the spankee. So, why do spankings have to hurt to make them work?


spankedbywife said...

"So, why do spankings have to hurt to make them work?"

Good question and it got me thinking. In correspondence with other men who are spanked by their Ladies, it seems that one common thread is that they want to be spanked hard. Its certainly the same with me.

Just last Tuesday, I was spanked hard. It was a 'fun' spanking and it ended up being lots of fun. However, my Lady did spank me very hard. Its now Saturday morning and I am still feeling the sting and the marks are still quite vivid.

However, the lingering affects are reminding me of the experience which was very satisfying.

mario (Lodi NJ) said...

I think we males need spankings to be hard, and most of us should probably be treated to the cane and the paddle once every week or two. Since my lady friend has started caning my butt, behavior has improved in many ways, less feeling sorry for myself and more productivity. Lets just accept it, guys!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I do think men need to be spanked hard. What hard is to that individual man varies of course. I don't think men are as vunerable as women are to hormonal issues, still other factors like how often is one spanked certainly plays into it.

I have the same problem C has. My hand would hurt long before his bottom. I use implements. One of my favorite is a slapper. It has a nice feel for both spanker and spankee. Also mine has a wonderful soft side which feels wonderful on a red bottom. I also tried the thick leather gloves. Hated them. So while a spanking starts out with my hand, I usually go to my slapper soon enough.

I know some may say that its the handspanking they crave but really its not practical. When using an implement, you can use it in conjunction with your hand. We just had to go to various (and many) implements because there was no way I was going to make a 'dent' on his bottom with my hand.

Oh and if you really want pain - a heavy wooden implement with no warm up will probably do it. I personally don't like that because it leaves marks. I warm up well and I can use just about any implements at full strength and not leave a mark. (That too varies per person)

Throck said...

Thanks to everyone for their comments.

I would love for C to spank me hard enough so that I would feel it the next day, but it has only happened once and I think it was about the second spanking I got from her. I think my bottom has gotten tougher, athough her recent spankings have hurt like sin.

The cane really scares me. I don't have one yet, but I am planning on getting one from Cane-iac. We have a riding crop, but C has been tentative with it (see latter post). I don't know if she would use a cane effectively. Any tips?

Hi Anne,
Love your name, my daughter's is spelled the same way. I agree that hand spankings aren't really practical, but they are soooo intimate, and I love for C to warm me up that way. C, however, likes to use the hairbrush with very little or no warm up, and as you say, if you want pain, that's it. Hope to hear from you again.

Thanks again for everyone's comments and apologies for the late reply.