Pain

As I stated in my last post, I am kind of a wimp when it comes to pain. However, it seems that a spanking is not a spanking without very real pain. I’m really not sure why that is the case, but it is certainly my own experience.

A few weeks ago I asked C for a spanking just before we were going to make love. Nothing elaborate, I just wanted to lie over her lap a get a hand spanking. Now, she has complained in the past that hand spankings hurt her hand, so I fetched her gloves thinking that would help. They are not very thick gloves (they are lined leather gloves that she uses in the winter), but I thought they would give her hand some protection and they are also sexy on her.

I lay across her lap and asked her to spank me hard and fast as if she were giving a real spanking. She did, but there was no pain. She barely turned my bottom pink, even though she claimed to be spanking me as hard as she could. The spanking would have been a lost cause except for the fact that I got to lie naked over her bare thighs. The spanking itself was pretty unsatisfying without the element of pain. As Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts commented in her brunch last week, “A spanking must hurt, and more than a little, while it's happening. Ideally, it should seem like more than I want at the moment, but create vivid memories for later.” (italics mine for emphasis)

Those are my sentiments exactly. I think most spankees would agree with that statement, but why is that the case. I know about the endorphin theories, but I think there must be more to it than that. Endorphins should be released in any painful event, and I don’t think you would have a bonding rush with your wife if she accidentally kneed you in the groin. There must be something special that happens in the context of spanking that requires the pain to produce the effect, and why does the spankee actively seek that out.

Spankings are fun. The anticipation, the teasing, the dress-up and the bonding are all integral to the satisfying spanking. I have read a number of spanking writers that claim pain is not the real issue in spanking, rather it is how the spanker gets into the mind of the spankee. So, why do spankings have to hurt to make them work?

Spanked

C came through on her promise of discipline for being naughty. I got a spanking last night. I thought it would be just before we went to bed. However, she came home about 5:30 and after pouring a glass of wine said, “I know you are anxious to start dinner but you need to be punished and I want you to go to the bedroom, put on your punishment panties and wait for me in the corner.”

The timing surprised me a little, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be spanked right then, but I complied. C came into the room after I had been in the corner for a few minutes and announced it was time. She made me choose the implement, and I chose the wooden hairbrush. It has a large square flat back and a shorter handle than the Vermont Country Store bath brush and I reasoned it would hurt less. The long handle on the bath brush and the smaller surface area produce more momentum and higher stress (force/area) on the bottom.

I presented C with the brush, and she lowered my panties and instructed me to lie over her lap. I did. She teased me with the brush for a few seconds and then began to spank, slowly at first, then more rapidly. I don’t think C really scolds much while spanking, but I’m not sure I would know because I am yelling and kicking about 5 spanks into my spankings. Those brushes hurt like sin, and it seems like C is becoming much less tentative in paddling me. My physics analysis of the two brushes doesn’t really seem to hold up. Both brushes hurt terribly. I may just be a wimp, but after fifteen to twenty strokes I have a difficult time staying on her lap and I contemplate using the safe word. Finally she stopped after pushing me a little farther than I wanted to go. I want her to push, but it is really hard for me.

I got off C’s lap, and she held me for a few minutes. She then told me to leave my punishment panties on, and go fix dinner. That was a little bit of a disappointment to me because I like to lie down with C, and have her hold me for a long time after a spanking. That’s when I get my best bonding rush. I’m not sure C quite gets that part of it. I expect she will one day though, and it was a very good spanking. When I sat down for dinner I could still feel it. C commented that it turned her on a little to spank me. I thus regard it as a very successful experience for both of us and look forward to the next one.

Artwork: Barbara O'Toole from Spanked_by their_Wives Yahoo Group

Texting

C is really getting into this texting thing. I just got a text message that went something like this:

C: Are you behaving yourself?

Me: Not really. (I wasn't either. I was looking at spanking blogs)

C: Uh Oh. You know what that means?

Me: I hope so.

C: Think about it. I will see you later.

Me: O.K. I love you.

We have never done this sort of thing before and it really excites me for some reason. It's probably the anticipation factor. But I'm also excited that C might be getting more into spanking me. This, as far as I can remember, is the first time C has initiated a spanking. In the past I've always had to prompt for one. This is exactly the way I imagined being punished by C. I'd better go out and buy her some flowers. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Back to Blogging

Well, I have had a little bout with cancer, and it has distracted me from blogging (for about eight months). Furthermore, C was not really into spanking me, since she thought my life might be in danger. Fortunately, surgery seems to have solved the problem, at least for now. So I have encouraged C to give me what I need, and she has complied. I got spanked twice this weekend. I did have to ask for it. I sent her a text message, “I’ve been naughty!” and she replied “You will have to be punished!” That gave me quite a thrill.

On Saturday morning she gave me a good spanking. While cuddling me afterward, she said, “I just don’t get it, but if it’s what you want then I’m glad to do it.” So I had my bonding rush and thought that I had had a pretty good start to the weekend.

Sunday morning came, and C was reading the paper in bed, and I was serving her coffee. She had not put the bath brush up from the day before, and it was lying on the bedside table.

“I think you need another spanking,” said C. “Come get over my lap right now.”

I was surprised but I complied. C picked up the bath brush and began to paddle me, reciting a little poem as she did:

“One two, buckle my shoe.”

“Three four, shut the door,” and so on, smacking me with the brush on each beat of the poem.

“Nine, ten, let’s do it again.” And, she did!

Wow! I think she was having a little fun at least.

I loved it. My goal is to get our spanking relationship back on track. Unfortunately, the recession is sending two of our children back home to live with us for awhile. That might be an impediment to spanking but I’ll try not to let it be an impediment to blogging.

Is Spanking a MEME?

Recently a meme went around on the spanking blogs.  I have seen these things before.  They’re fun, but being a blog neophyte, I didn’t really understand the word “meme.”  I finally got around to pulling out my dictionary (good ol’ Webster) and looking it up.  Wasn’t in there! The fact that my preference was to use the actual tangible, book dictionary is enough to date me, but that’s another issue.  How do I find out about this word?  Wikipedia, DUH!

Here is the Wikipedia definition: A meme (pronounced /miim/, rhyming with "cream"^[1]) is a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. 

Now this is a relatively new word, which is why I did not find it in my relatively old Webster’s dictionary.  It was coined by the famous atheist and evolutionary biologist, Richard Dawkins in his book “The Selfish Gene” (these are facts that most bloggers probably know, but I did not).  What in the world did this have to do with the blog game?  I had to read deep into the Wikipedia to find out that bloggers have co-opted the word to mean something that propagates in the blogosphere. (Aside: I think the internet version should be called bgene, pronounced bean, in analogy to weblog, i.e. web-gene)

But, to the point.  The meme idea fascinates me.  Is spanking a unit of cultural  practice, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through rituals or other imitable phenomena?  I think it may be.  I have often wondered where the whole concept of spanking comes from, and how people come to need it.  If spanking is fundamental to our culture it would propagate, and occasionally mutate, to give us the rainbow of spanking tastes we observe today.  I would probably be a cultural mutant.  Would the meme idea explain the disproportionate number of female to male spankees? What cultural evolutionary benefit would spanking provide to its adherents that would make them more successful?  I may have to read “The Selfish Gene,” or some of memeticist Susan Blackmore’s work.  I wonder if she’s a spanker.  She sounds like a spanker.

Spanking Going Mainstream ?

I don’t watch much television, but occasionally when I’m feeling unmotivated, after watching the 6:30 to 7:00 news, I flip to a silly program called “Two and a Half Men.”  It’s a rather mindless formula sitcom that parades a lot of sexy women through the set and fills the dialogue with sexual innuendo, but it can be funny.  Interestingly, I watched the program two nights in a row with C, and both nights spanking was mentioned.  The first mention was when one of the main characters, Alan who plays a chiropractor, is adjusting a patient’s back, and the patient mentions he ricked his back spanking his wife. 

The second night was more interesting.  Alan the chiropractor is dating a much younger girl, and his brother Charlie is having a fling with the girls mother, who appears to be a bit older than Charlie but quite sexy.

Alan enters Charlie’s bedroom while Charlie is in bed with the mother, presumably to get advice on a problem Alan is having with having with her daughter.  Charlie makes an inappropriate comment and the mother says:

“I might have to spank you.”

“I might let you,” says Charlie.

The dialog continues and Charlie makes another comment.

The mother says “You are definitely getting a spanking,” or something to that effect.

I turned to C and smiled.  She didn’t take the hint.

In any case, I thought it was interesting that there were two references to spanking in a row, in a mainstream, primetime program.  Furthermore, one reference was to my favorite kind of spanking, F/M.  If I hear two references in row, there must be quite a few such references, but as I said, I virtually never watch sitcoms, and very little television.  It would be interesting to track spanking references in the media to see if the number increases over time.  Someone must surely be doing that.  Perhaps when a critical number of references is reached it would signal all spankos to “come out,” because we would know that virtually everyone else is a spankaphile too.

Artist: DWIG , Yahoo Group Luv Her Control

Worth A Million Statues

I have to admit that even though I love C to take me over her knee, with respect to spanking art, and photography, I prefer looking at the female bottom.  I suppose I could be a switch; I would be happy to spank C, if she liked (which she doesn’t), if only for the view.  There is not much F/M spanking photography that turns me on.  If males could all look like Michelangelo’s David, it might be different, but we don’t, and I certainly do not.  C says I have a cute bottom, but I think she is being generous.  Consequently, I have to appreciate any spanking C gives me; since for her, the esthetics of the spanking may not be optimum.  I think esthetics in erotic endeavors is important, and it brings to mind a favorite poem of mine by E. E. Cummings.  C gave me a compendium of E. E. Cummings poems years ago, and though not one of his famous poems, this is one of my favorites.  He must have anticipated the internet, twitter, etc., since he wrote everything in lower case.

mr youse needn't be so spry

mr youse needn't be so spry
concernin questions arty

each has his tastes but as for i
i likes a certain party

gimme the he-man's solid bliss
for youse ideas i'll match youse

a pretty girl who naked is
is worth a million statues

ee cummings

One might change the last couplet to:

a pretty girl who spanked naked is
is worth a million statues

With apologies to E .E. Cummings.