I am curious as to whether women experience spanking the same way men do. I think probably not. In surfing F/M spanking blogs and groups it appears men prefer a punishment aspect to their spankings. Men seem to want to feel like naughty boys, and want to be taken in hand by their female partner; I certainly do. Women, on the other hand seem to appreciate a wider range of spanking types, from erotic, to punishment, to just play. My evidence is only anecdotal, of course.
All spankings are erotic to some degree, if only by virtue of being across the spanker's lap partially or totally naked, or even by being exposed to the spanker in naughty ways. Well, I say all. I have seen reports on blogs and groups of men being forced to have an orgasm before a spanking to make it truly a “punishment” spanking. I have never seen, on the many M/F spanking blogs and groups that I read, a report of a female being forced to have an orgasm before a punishment spanking. There seems to be some asymmetry here. Also the relationship between orgasm and spanking obviates the sexual nature of adult spanking (we all know that anyway).
In my case, orgasm makes my kink index go negative. After an orgasm (as my crude graph shows; click on it and it becomes bigger, and more readable) I have no desire for kinky sexual activity. In fact, if I have had a spanking, the negative kink index implies that I’m just slightly embarrassed about it and I wonder why I’m wired as I am. If I haven’t had a spanking, I probably have a kinky movie running in my head during sexual activities, usually in which C has a leading role (If I need a spanking and don’t get one, as the graph indicates, my kink index grows and my movies get kinkier). After orgasm, I wonder why I can’t just look at C and have enough of a “turn on” with that. She really is a beautiful woman. I’m a little embarrassed by the fact that I’m running these movies; not so embarrassed that I won’t do it again, but, in other words, my kink index goes negative. Orgasm is the "step function" of kink. I still want to cuddle with C after orgasm, but kink is out of the picture.
In any case, I definitely would not like to be spanked immediately after an orgasm, when I’m in negative territory. Furthermore, I think that is why my preference is not to use spanking as foreplay. I like to experience the “bonding rush,” and I like to stay on the spanking high for a while. I suppose that I could still think of a spanking as erotic foreplay, only very “fore,” like the night before. And although I want to feel like a punished naughty boy, I need to have a positive kink index to achieve the bonding rush.
My question, for all the women out there who love to be spanked, is: Does your kink index go negative after an orgasm, or are you just as happy to have a spanking after an orgasm as before, or can you take spankings between multiple orgasms and still maintain a positive kink index?