Is Spanking a MEME?

Recently a meme went around on the spanking blogs.  I have seen these things before.  They’re fun, but being a blog neophyte, I didn’t really understand the word “meme.”  I finally got around to pulling out my dictionary (good ol’ Webster) and looking it up.  Wasn’t in there! The fact that my preference was to use the actual tangible, book dictionary is enough to date me, but that’s another issue.  How do I find out about this word?  Wikipedia, DUH!

Here is the Wikipedia definition: A meme (pronounced /miim/, rhyming with "cream"^[1]) is a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. 

Now this is a relatively new word, which is why I did not find it in my relatively old Webster’s dictionary.  It was coined by the famous atheist and evolutionary biologist, Richard Dawkins in his book “The Selfish Gene” (these are facts that most bloggers probably know, but I did not).  What in the world did this have to do with the blog game?  I had to read deep into the Wikipedia to find out that bloggers have co-opted the word to mean something that propagates in the blogosphere. (Aside: I think the internet version should be called bgene, pronounced bean, in analogy to weblog, i.e. web-gene)

But, to the point.  The meme idea fascinates me.  Is spanking a unit of cultural  practice, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through rituals or other imitable phenomena?  I think it may be.  I have often wondered where the whole concept of spanking comes from, and how people come to need it.  If spanking is fundamental to our culture it would propagate, and occasionally mutate, to give us the rainbow of spanking tastes we observe today.  I would probably be a cultural mutant.  Would the meme idea explain the disproportionate number of female to male spankees? What cultural evolutionary benefit would spanking provide to its adherents that would make them more successful?  I may have to read “The Selfish Gene,” or some of memeticist Susan Blackmore’s work.  I wonder if she’s a spanker.  She sounds like a spanker.

Spanking Going Mainstream ?

I don’t watch much television, but occasionally when I’m feeling unmotivated, after watching the 6:30 to 7:00 news, I flip to a silly program called “Two and a Half Men.”  It’s a rather mindless formula sitcom that parades a lot of sexy women through the set and fills the dialogue with sexual innuendo, but it can be funny.  Interestingly, I watched the program two nights in a row with C, and both nights spanking was mentioned.  The first mention was when one of the main characters, Alan who plays a chiropractor, is adjusting a patient’s back, and the patient mentions he ricked his back spanking his wife. 

The second night was more interesting.  Alan the chiropractor is dating a much younger girl, and his brother Charlie is having a fling with the girls mother, who appears to be a bit older than Charlie but quite sexy.

Alan enters Charlie’s bedroom while Charlie is in bed with the mother, presumably to get advice on a problem Alan is having with having with her daughter.  Charlie makes an inappropriate comment and the mother says:

“I might have to spank you.”

“I might let you,” says Charlie.

The dialog continues and Charlie makes another comment.

The mother says “You are definitely getting a spanking,” or something to that effect.

I turned to C and smiled.  She didn’t take the hint.

In any case, I thought it was interesting that there were two references to spanking in a row, in a mainstream, primetime program.  Furthermore, one reference was to my favorite kind of spanking, F/M.  If I hear two references in row, there must be quite a few such references, but as I said, I virtually never watch sitcoms, and very little television.  It would be interesting to track spanking references in the media to see if the number increases over time.  Someone must surely be doing that.  Perhaps when a critical number of references is reached it would signal all spankos to “come out,” because we would know that virtually everyone else is a spankaphile too.

Artist: DWIG , Yahoo Group Luv Her Control

Worth A Million Statues

I have to admit that even though I love C to take me over her knee, with respect to spanking art, and photography, I prefer looking at the female bottom.  I suppose I could be a switch; I would be happy to spank C, if she liked (which she doesn’t), if only for the view.  There is not much F/M spanking photography that turns me on.  If males could all look like Michelangelo’s David, it might be different, but we don’t, and I certainly do not.  C says I have a cute bottom, but I think she is being generous.  Consequently, I have to appreciate any spanking C gives me; since for her, the esthetics of the spanking may not be optimum.  I think esthetics in erotic endeavors is important, and it brings to mind a favorite poem of mine by E. E. Cummings.  C gave me a compendium of E. E. Cummings poems years ago, and though not one of his famous poems, this is one of my favorites.  He must have anticipated the internet, twitter, etc., since he wrote everything in lower case.

mr youse needn't be so spry

mr youse needn't be so spry
concernin questions arty

each has his tastes but as for i
i likes a certain party

gimme the he-man's solid bliss
for youse ideas i'll match youse

a pretty girl who naked is
is worth a million statues

ee cummings

One might change the last couplet to:

a pretty girl who spanked naked is
is worth a million statues

With apologies to E .E. Cummings.

The Kink Index

I am curious as to whether women experience spanking the same way men do.  I think probably not.  In surfing F/M spanking blogs and groups it appears men prefer a punishment aspect to their spankings.  Men seem to want to feel like naughty boys, and want to be taken in hand by their female partner; I certainly do.  Women, on the other hand seem to appreciate a wider range of spanking types, from erotic, to punishment, to just play. My evidence is only anecdotal, of course.

All spankings are erotic to some degree, if only by virtue of being across the spanker's lap partially or totally naked, or even by being exposed to the spanker in naughty ways.  Well, I say all.  I have seen reports on blogs and groups of men being forced to have an orgasm before a spanking to make it truly a “punishment” spanking.  I have never seen, on the many M/F spanking blogs and groups that I read, a report of a female being forced to have an orgasm before a punishment spanking.  There seems to be some asymmetry here.  Also the relationship between orgasm and spanking obviates the sexual nature of adult spanking (we all know that anyway).

In my case, orgasm makes my kink index go negative.  After an orgasm (as my crude graph shows; click on it and it becomes bigger, and more readable) I have no desire for kinky sexual activity.  In fact, if I have had a spanking, the negative kink index implies that I’m just slightly embarrassed about it and I wonder why I’m wired as I am.  If I haven’t had a spanking, I probably have a kinky movie running in my head during sexual activities, usually in which C has a leading role (If I need a spanking  and don’t get one, as the graph indicates, my kink index grows and my movies get kinkier).  After orgasm, I wonder why I can’t just look at C and have enough of a “turn on” with that.  She really is a beautiful woman.  I’m a little embarrassed by the fact that I’m running these movies; not so embarrassed that I won’t do it again, but, in other words, my kink index goes negative. Orgasm is the "step function" of kink.  I still want to cuddle with C after orgasm, but kink is out of the picture.

In any case, I definitely would not like to be spanked immediately after an orgasm, when I’m in negative territory.  Furthermore, I think that is why my preference is not to use spanking as foreplay.  I like to experience the “bonding rush,” and I like to stay on the spanking high for a while.  I suppose that I could still think of a spanking as erotic foreplay, only very “fore,” like the night before.  And although I want to feel like a punished naughty boy, I need to have a positive kink index to achieve the bonding rush.

My question, for all the women out there who love to be spanked, is: Does your kink index go negative after an orgasm, or are you just as happy to have a spanking after an orgasm as before, or can you take spankings between multiple orgasms and still maintain a positive kink index?

Green Kink

A recent edition of Time magazine displayed several "eco-friendly" floggers stating:

"Earth Erotics makes its whips out of recycled inner tubes. Other companies are creating items that do not contain phthalates, which are used to soften plastics and have been linked to premature puberty in girls and low-sperm production in boys. 'Our taboos prevent us from having the same consumer-safety conversations that are commonplace when you're making a toothbrush, sneaker or baby bottle,' says Ethan Imboden, founder of Jimmyjane, a luxury adult-toy maker based in San Francisco."  There is also an eco-friendly pink flogger displayed in the article.

Is spanking going green and mainstream at the same time?  Of course, the most Eco-friendly spanking  implement is a firm hand.  I hope our Vermont Country Store bath brush meets the Green criteria.  The article in the October 26, 2009 edition of Time is a fun read.  Also available online.  I'm going to show the article to C so that she will know she is not on the fringe.