Spankable Husband

Another Maintenance Spanking

2011-01-10T14:48:00.009-05:00

I got spanked yesterday. It was a maintenance spanking that had been delayed by the holidays and lack of privacy. However, one of our live-in children has found a job (hooray) and moved out, and the other was visiting friends for the weekend, so we had the house to ourselves.

I had a feeling C would spank me. She knew I needed or wanted one. Sunday morning however I wasn’t sure I wanted a spanking. I knew it would hurt. C hurts me a lot more than she used to.

As usual, I had gotten up early to walk the dogs, leaving C asleep in bed. When I returned, I walked back to the bedroom intending to take a shower. I got undressed and as I started into the bathroom I heard C say, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“Well, I have to spank you this morning, but you can take your shower first. But first bring me a cup of coffee and the newspaper.”

I was naked at this point, but I walked into the kitchen to get the coffee, realizing no one would see me because we live in such a remote place. I also realized that it was fairly cold in the house, so I turned up the heat a little. My thought was that C would undoubtedly make me do some corner time in my punishment panties, and I didn’t want to freeze. I returned to the bedroom with C’s coffee and newspaper.

“Thank you,” she said, “but, I do have to spank you, so go take your shower and come back out here and get your punishment panties on.”

I took my shower and came back into the room. “What panties do you want me to wear C?”

“The pink and black ones,” she said.

I knew she would say that. She loves those panties for some reason. I think she thinks I look silly in them, and I probably do because they are too small for me. C of course thinks this is all a silly game, and that is belied by the tone of her voice when she gives me a command or tells me she going to spank me.

“Well C,” I said, “I don’t know why you love those panties so much. They are really too small for me, but if that’s what you want I’ll wear them.” I opened her panty drawer; she lets me keep the punishment panties at the back of her drawer now.

“Which ones do you want to wear, Throck?”

I looked into the drawer at all her pretty satin panties in front. I really wanted to wear her panties. She had been traveling the week between Christmas and New Year to help our daughter get set up at her new job. During that time I had worn her panties on two separate days. I have lost a lot of weight recently and they fit pretty well. They felt good too. They are much nicer than the ones I have ordered on line. It makes me think I should buy my punishment panties in a regular store, but I’m not sure that I have the nerve.

In any case, I had written in my punishment book that I had worn panties without permission, but I did not mention that they were her panties, and I decided to not ask to wear hers for my spanking.

“I think I would like to wear the white ones. They fit me best,” I said.

“That’s O.K.,” said C. “You look very virginal in those.”

“Hmm,” I said.

I put on the panties and started to climb back in bed.

“What are you doing?” C said. “You have to do your corner time.”

“Could I please warm up a little, C? It’s cold in the house.”

“O.K., you can get back in bed for a few minutes, but you’re still going to the corner,” C said, trying to be stern, and not very effectively.

She was reading the Sunday paper, and I was afraid I might freeze in the corner for an hour.

After about twenty minutes C said, “I think you have warmed enough. I want you in that corner now to think about how naughty you’ve been, and the spanking you are going to get.”

I climbed out of bed to go to the corner when C said “Oh, and give me your punishment book, I want to read about the naughty things you’ve done.”

“C you don’t really want to read that,” I said. “You know maybe this isn’t a good idea this morning. Maybe we should postpone this spanking, and just make love.”

“No!” said C. “You’re getting a spanking, and I want to read your punishment book.”

I handed her the book. I was concerned because in addition to the more contrived indiscretions, wearing panties without permission, masturbating with out permission, etc, I had noted the incident with the wine that I mentioned in the last post. It was the first entry after my last spanking. I thought later that that was not a good idea, but it was written in ink and there was no way to remove it. I was afraid that C would be upset about that and put an end to “our game” as she called it.

I went to the corner and C started to read out the indiscretions. She ignored the first entry and did not read it aloud. She read the remaining entries and then scolded me about being naughty, and told me to think about the sound spanking I was going to get. Then she went back to reading her paper.

I must have stood in the corner for fifteen minutes or so. It seemed like a long time. I finally heard her get out of bed and move behind me. She put her arms around me and pinched my nipples.

“It’s time now Throck. I hate to do it, but you have been very naughty and I am going to have to spank you. I want you to go into the bathroom and get the blond brush with the long handle.” She was referring the Vermont Country Store bath brush. It’s a pretty painful implement.

When I returned to the bedroom she was sitting on the edge of the wingback chair, not the best spanking chair. However she had been packing away Christmas ornaments and decorations, and all of the more usual spanking furniture was covered with boxes of decorations that I was to put in the attic latter in the day. I did not think much of that chair, but there was not much I could do about it.

I handed C the bath brush and she said, “Take down your panties and get over my lap.”

Usually C takes down my panties, but I did as I was told. When I pulled the panties down to my knees I noticed that I had an erection. God knows why, that usually does not happen. When C noticed it she spread her legs apart a bit so it would fit between them. However, she made no comment. The position was very awkward. I had to support my upper body with my hands on the floor and my toes were on the floor behind. I was basically balancing on C’s lap. I was not sure I could keep the position. I had nothing to clutch with my hands when the pain began, like a leg of the ottoman or a sofa cushion. I was soon to loose my erection.

C began with a few light swats, but soon increased the intensity. C does not have much of a warm-up routine. The bath brush is very painful. I was soon crying out (after only four of five spanks), and kicking and squirming. I was afraid I was going to fall off her lap.

Finally C said, “Be quiet Throck and take your spanking. I don’t want to hear another word out of you!”

I tried to claw into the carpet and stay quiet, but after three more swats I was yelling again. However, that didn’t stop C. I began to wonder when she was going to stop, and if I was going to have to use my safe word. C probably didn’t give me that many swats, maybe between twenty and thirty; I don’t know. She also spanked the backs of my thighs as well as my bottom. She has never done that before. I feel like it was one of the most challenging spankings that I have gotten. Of course, as I have said before I am a bit of a wimp, but it seems as if the spankings are getting progressively worse. As I mentioned earlier in this post, I had a few pre-spank jitters about this spanking, and I was not sure I really wanted it. Now I know I didn’t want it. I sometimes wish there could be something like a synthetic spanking, with all the submission ritual and the bonding rush afterward, but no pain. I suppose that wouldn't work however. Without the pain a spanking is not a spanking and everything before and after would become moot.

Finally C said, “O.K., it’s over. Get up.”

I just slid to my knees on the floor with my head in her lap. She held me for a while and then we went back to bed and she held me some more. While she was holding me in bed I said, “That really hurt.”

“Spankings are supposed to hurt. You were naughty,” she said with a little more realism in her voice.

We made love then, and C had one of her rare orgasms. She is now is two orgasms out of the last three spankings she has given me. I don’t know if there is a relationship, but if there is I’m willing to take more spankings for her.

My next maintenance spanking is scheduled for January 29. But who knows, she may find a reason to spank me before that. I hope so, I think. I still get my bonding rush. I have not had the experience of feeling remnants of the spanking the next day. That has only happened once with one of my very first spankings. I have also never experienced sub-space. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the fortitude to make it there. I do love submitting to C though, even if it is painful.

Ritual versus Punishment

2010-12-09T16:37:00.004-05:00

Spanking is something I’ve been interested in for a long time. I now recall an incident when I was about ten or eleven regarding spanking that I might relate at a latter date, but spanking has been on my mind for quite a while.

I remember trying to introduce F/m discipline to C a few years into our marriage. I was on a business trip in Monterey, California. I had a dead afternoon. I was driving around Monterey when I noticed an adult store so I parked and went in to see if they had any interesting toys. We didn’t have such stores where I lived.

As I perused the store, I came across a locked case containing leather floggers and other leather implements designed to use on someone’s bottom. One of the floggers caught my eye. I imagined C whipping me with it, and the fantasy caused me to go into a mild state of arousal. I had to really screw up my courage to ask the only sales clerk in the store to open the case for me so I could examine the flogger. Finally, I thought what the heck, these people will never see me again, and the stuff is there to sell anyway.

I told the clerk that I would like to see the flogger. He said he was helping another customer, but he would be over in a few minutes. I went back and stood by the case.

A man in the store, who had apparently overheard my brief conversation with the clerk, came up to me and said “Who’s going to be whipped with that, you, or your wife?”

I was a little taken aback. I was young, in my thirties, and I was a bit embarrassed about being in the store in the first place. I wasn’t quite sure whether this man had some type of motive in approaching me. However, I kept my composure and said, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe a little of both.”

“Well, it’s all a game anyway,” he said. “As long as everybody has fun,” and he moved on.

I bought the flogger for forty dollars, which I thought was a pretty stiff price, but I fantasized about C using it on me, and decided it was well worth it.

I got C some other nice presents as well (not in the adult store though). When I got home I was showing her the things I had bought for her, and I finally brought out the flogger.

“What’s that?” C exclaimed.

“It’s a flogger. I was hoping you would whip me with it, because I’ve been a very naughty boy.”

“In your dreams,” C said.

I was very disappointed.

C did actually use the flogger on me once when we were having a hot weekend in a hotel somewhere. And, I actually used it on her once. However, two whippings with a forty dollar flogger makes it twenty dollars a whipping, which is not a terribly good value.

When we moved ten years ago, C was cleaning things out, and tossed the flogger along with a number of my other kinky things I had collected over the years. Fortunately I noticed and recovered all of the items.

Well, that ramble dates my interest in discipline to the early years of my marriage to C. There were other things I came upon over the years. I found a very nice broad backed, flat wooden hairbrush with a very nice handle for gripping. I purchased it. It was never used to brush hair even though it sat on the bathroom counter in plain sight for many years. C knew what the implication was, and I may have been explicit, but she chose to ignore my desires.

Eventually, out of frustration, I just laid it out for C. C listened and said O.K., but never initiated anything. If I requested a spanking she would comply, but never really got into it.

I then posted to this blog my ideas on spanking being a submission ritual and emailed a copy of the post to C (C never reads my blog). At that point she seemed to understand a little better where I was coming from and our spanking interaction improved and increased.

Everyone says that in a spanking relationship or an FLR, communication is the most important element. I am certainly not in and FLR at this point in time and my communication skills are not moving me in that direction very fast. One of the main problems is that C seems to be very uncomfortable discussing anything about spanking, FLR or our sexual interaction. When I try to start a dialogue on such topics nothing comes back, and C changes the subject as quickly as possible.

So with that background I will describe the past Saturday to you. I got a spanking on Saturday morning. Both of my live-at-home children had volunteered to help in a school science event that required them to travel to another town – at six in the morning. C came into the kitchen when I was cooking dinner on Friday night. She put her chin on my shoulder and patted me on the bottom and whispered, “I’m afraid there is going to be a spanking tomorrow.” I just smiled.

C plays this as a game. She doesn’t really grasp my real need for her control, her discipline and my desire to be submissive to her.

In any case the children left at six the next morning and at eight I got spanked.

I took a shower and put on punishment panties, and then climbed back into bed where C was reading the paper, and having a cup of coffee that I had served her.

“Don’t get back in bed,” C said. “You need to do your corner time and think about how bad you’ve been.”

“O.K.” I said. “But, you know C, this isn’t exactly a game to me.”

“It’s a game,” C said. “Go do your corner time. I’ll take care of you in a few minutes.”

C eventually took me to the couch in the living room. She read out the infractions that I had written in the punishment book, lowered my panties, and put me over her lap for a moderate spanking. She then held me for several minutes, the part of spanking I like best. My panties were still around my knees, and I realized after a while that I had an erection. That doesn’t usually happen. Finally, she took me back to the bedroom and we made love. I had an orgasm, she did not.

Latter in the afternoon, I drove C into town to have lunch, and run some errands. While in the car I decided to have some dialogue with her about our spanking session.

“That was a good spanking session this morning,” I said. “I like your control and the bonding rush I get after you spank me. You should spank me more. You should really spank me anytime I screw up.”

“Hmmmm,” C said.

“For example,” I said, “you should really have spanked me when I had that meltdown three weeks ago over the magazine you threw away. You should have hauled me back to the bedroom and told me that as soon as the kids were out of the house I would get a spanking, and ordered me to put on my punishment panties to remind me of my impending fate.”

“Hmmmm,” said C.

“You know C, I really need your control and your discipline. You really are the better half of this marriage. I screw up all the time, and I should be disciplined for it, you never do. You’re older than I am, a little bit; you earn more money than I do, you work harder than I do, and you are just a better person. You deserve and need to express some real authority over me, and I will submit to it.”

“That is ridiculous,” said C. “You don’t screw up all the time and we are equals. I want to be equals. I’m six months older than you, I made a miniscule amount more than you did last year for the first time in our marriage, and what does that have to do with anything anyway, and I don’t work harder than you do.”

“Yes you do. You work all day and then come home and write reports all evening. I never do that.”

“I don’t want this spanking thing to be our whole relationship. Anyway, where do you want to have lunch? It will have to be somewhere fairly fast. My hair appointment is at two.”

That is what passes for communication in a thirty year plus marriage. I didn’t press it, and we had a nice afternoon.

Now, after that very brief discussion of screwing up, I screwed up. I did not do it intentionally, I never do. It was simply a lapse of judgment.

C was planning to go out of town for two days to a conference with a colleague. Her colleague was going to drive, but had gotten ill. C thought she might have to drive, and since the children were out of town with the other cars, I was to be stranded in the boonies all Sunday. This impacted my grocery shopping strategy. For the evening, I bought a bottle of cabernet for C, because she drinks red wine, and I got two bottles of chardonnay for me, one for the evening, and one for Sunday. However I did not want C to know about the second bottle of chardonnay, because she gets uptight about my drinking. I separated the bottles and left one in the trunk of the car when I took the groceries in. Latter I went out to retrieve it, planning to hide it in the bin that we use to recycle bottles. The bagger at the grocery store had wrapped the bottle in a brown paper bag. Just as I was lifting the lid of the recycle bin, C came into the garage for some reason, and surprised me.

“What are you doing?”

“Just throwing some bottles away,” I said as I dumped the bag wrapped bottle in the recycle bin.

C looked suspicious. I knew I had been caught, but I went back into the house.

A bit latter I walked into the kitchen and there was C holding the wine bottle.

“Why are you hiding wine from me? What are you doing?” C said with a good deal of irritation in her voice.

“I just wanted some wine for tomorrow, and I thought I would be stranded here all day,” I said.

“But why are you hiding it?”

“I don’t know,” I said. I was very embarrassed.

“I have a good mind to make you write this down in your punishment book, but I guess that would just reward you!” C slammed the bottle down on the counter and walked out.

I felt very bad, but I was stunned by her statement. Had punishing me with a spanking for a real offence momentarily crossed her mind?

Latter I was building a fire for C as she reclined in her leather chair in the den.

“C,” I said, “if you want to punish me for what I did today, you may.”

“Why would I do that, you like spankings?”

“I don’t like spankings. I like the ritual in the ritual spankings we do. You don’t have to do those things you do in a ritual spanking. I’ll submit to your discipline. I want your discipline.”

“Just build my fire please.”

And that was the end of a very strange Saturday.

Avatar

2010-11-22T15:59:00.004-05:00

I have decided to change the avatar on my blog to the one pictured at left. This picture is by Barbara O'Toole. It is a bit clearer than the avatar I have previously used. The spanker looks like C, primarily because C has the same hair color and style and is about the same build. We also have a similar ottoman which has been used for the same purpose. Unfortunately, I am not as young as the young man receiving punishment, but I can certainly imagine how he feels.

The Sacrifice

2010-11-22T15:09:00.002-05:00

This painting shows how really strange I am. I like this painting. It is by the 19th century Belgium symbolist painter Felician Rops. I actually saw this painting at an exhibition at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston many years ago (maybe thirty). I believe C was with me at the time, but she was not as impressed with the painting as I was. I think about sex, spanking, etc. as rituals, and this painting just “brings it all home.” Curiously, when I was younger this is the way I thought about sex with women. I fantasized about a ritualistic sacrifice of a woman’s virginity on an altar. Today, I wish the genders in this painting were reversed. I would like to be the sacrifice over C’s lap. My anal virginity is still intact as well, but I don’t think C is interested in sacrificing it.

Montreal

2010-11-15T16:19:00.003-05:00

I took C to Montreal this past weekend for her birthday. I was packing my small bag when C came into the room holding a pair of my punishment panties. “Do you want to take these?” she said. “I just washed them.”

“Do you want me to wear them?” I said. I had actually already packed a few pairs.

“Yes. Actually no. I don’t want to explain if we are in a car accident, but I think you should take them.”

“O.K.” I said, and threw them in the suitcase.

We had a wonderful time. We ate, drank and … We stayed at a nice hotel near the place pictured above. I had brought along some spanking implements, just in case, but since I am a rather noisy spankee C declined out of consideration for guests that may have been in adjacent rooms. She did, however, consecrate a few pairs of punishment panties for me (I’m such a pervert).

Montreal is a nice place. It’s like a foreign country within a foreign country, and it’s only a few hours away. If you go to Toronto or Calgary you don’t feel like you’ve really gone anywhere different (apologies to Calgary and Toronto residents. I do enjoy visiting those cities, however).

We had dinner Saturday night at the Bonaparte Restaurant, a French restaurant that is attached to the Auberge Bonaparte, a very nice small hotel in old Montreal. If you are in Montreal you should try it. The food is excellent, and I found the restaurant rather sexy.

Do you suppose Josephine spanked Napoleon?

Punishment Panties

2010-11-10T16:54:00.004-05:00

So, what is it that I have about this panty thing, anyway? I don’t consider myself a cross dresser, but panties play into my fantasies concerning spanking. I set up our spanking ritual (because C would not have had a clue, being vanilla in the extreme), and I included “punishment panties” in the ritual from the beginning. C couldn’t quite get her head around this. My wearing panties concerned her.

“Not my panties,” she said. “That wierds me out.”

Of course, that is exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted C to “make” me wear a pair of her panties when she spanked me. However, not wanting to push too hard, I ordered several pairs of punishment panties online from a site that sold “panties for men.” I sold it to C, sort of, by explaining that even though the underwear looked feminine, they were really cut for men (which so the site claimed), but we would call them “punishment panties” in any case. C just rolled her eyes. I also made the rule that I could only wear the panties when instructed to do so by C.

Now, I don’t know where this desire to wear panties during discipline comes from (although I will make some guesses later), but I know it is not an uncommon desire of men in the F/M spanking world. For example, Ken of “Spanked by My Lady” indicated that though he was not one to just wear panties, he did get an erotic rush when his wife made him wear them. Spanked Hubby of the popular blog of the same name (now defunct) also admitted to wearing panties for some of his spankings. Then, of course there are Yahoo groups such as “Men Spanked in Panties”, and on and on. It is comforting to know that I am not a complete whack job, or if I am there are others out there like me.

Well, why panties?

I was searching Google about panty fetishes, and, sure enough, Wikipedia had something to say about it. Their article claimed that men with a panty fetish saw panties as possessing a certain sexual power. The article was not well documented, and flagged as needing improvement. Nevertheless, I see some truth in what was postulated.

The female vagina and genitals are objects that hold a deep seated desire for the heterosexual male. I daresay that the power, such as it is that women hold over men, would not exist at all if they didn’t possess that organ that is the focus of so much male attention. It is truly amazing that women haven’t taken more advantage of that power, as for example Lysistrata did, over the centuries. In any case, the delicate panties that encase the female genitals are also a fascination to men. I can remember as a very young child looking at the women’s underwear section of the Sears and Roebuck catalogue, and instinctively understanding that there was something behind that fabric that I wanted.

Panties are the gossamer barrier to that which men most desire. They must be removed, with permission from the wearer, to achieve that enlightened state of intimate contact and ultimately the orgasm that we crave. They are the castle that protects the prize, and consequently represent power.

When, by command, panties are put in contact with the male genitals they become a symbol of the power his lover has over him. Ultimately, the woman to whom the panties belong deliciously lowers them before your punishment. The statement is: this is my castle; I have imprisoned you in its most intimate walls, but I can enter at any time. To be made to wear panties by your lover is a grand symbol of the power and dominance of the female over the male.

I don’t particularly feel humiliation when I’m told to put on punishment panties before a spanking. In fact, I rather like the way they feel, and I enjoy mental experience of the symbolism that I described above. If I were made to wear them all day, for example to work, I would feel the potential for humiliation, for example if someone discovered I was wearing them, but that potential is a bit exciting too. Consequently, I have on occasion, worn panties to work without C’s knowledge. A few weeks ago she caught me wearing them as I was getting undressed for bed. I was obliged to write in my punishment book that I had worn punishment panties without permission. That was one of the six or seven items that my maintenance spanking was administered for last Sunday.

This morning I had the urge to wear my panties again. I was in the bedroom getting dressed and had gotten a pair out of the drawer. They were white satin briefs with a little lace. C, unexpectedly, walked into the bedroom from the bathroom just as I was about to put them on. I decided on the spot that I should ask her permission, so I did. I held up the panties and said “C, may I wear these punishment panties to work today?”

“No! Absolutely not,” was her reply.

I was a little surprised that she didn’t just role her eyes and say “Sure, why not.” I put the panties back in the drawer and put on a pair of jockeys.

Later at breakfast she asked me, “Did you sneak back into the bedroom and put on your punishment panties while I was taking my bath?”

“No,” I said.

She didn’t check but just said “Good.”

Latter I wondered if by denying me she was trying to set me up for a spanking. That would have been, and maybe was, a missed opportunity.

Photo From: Spanked Men in Panties

Productivity

2010-11-09T11:05:00.002-05:00

I have to say that after my spanking Sunday, I was rather productive around the house. Winter is coming and we have a lot to do. I am often quite lazy on weekends. I will often tell C at about 2:30 or 3:30 that I am going to take a nap for thirty minutes. These “naps” often extend for two hours and then I don’t get anything else done, except maybe to cook dinner. C rarely takes a nap and is usually much more productive on weekends.

Now, I have seen such comments made on other FLR-DD blogs, but I am rather skeptical that adult spanking really leads to increased productivity of any sort. Furthermore, I can’t really call the spanking relationship C and I have a true FLR-DD relationship. C, I’m sure, doesn’t think of it that way, if she even knows what an FLR-DD relationship is.

I find it very strange that I seem to detect this increase in productivity when C spanks me. It may just be coincidence, but I noticed it last summer when C was spanking me. I wish I could quantify it some way, but I haven’t a clue how. I suppose I could record in the punishment book what I perceive to accomplish for the week after a sound spanking, and try to compare it to weeks when I am not spanked. That type of “experiment” would be anecdotal but might provide some information. It would be a little tedious, but I might try it.

Unfortunately, when my spanking obsession bubbles up, I become less productive at work. Perhaps our rather attractive, albeit slightly older, business manager should spank me. I don’t really think C would approve of that though. Perhaps C should give me a spanking in the morning before work for incentive. Now there’s an idea.

A Maintenance Spanking

2010-11-08T11:24:00.003-05:00

Well, I finally got my maintenance spanking yesterday. It should have happened Friday, the 29th of October, but there were privacy issues with the children around. The rule is that the spanking should occur at the next private opportunity, but that opportunity never really materialized over that last October weekend.

The next opportunity was this past weekend. My son went on a road trip with a friend for the weekend, and my daughter went to Boston to house-sit a cat for one of her friends who was away for the weekend. I thought C and I would have Friday night to ourselves, but our daughter stayed for dinner before driving into Boston, dinner was late, and C was tired. We went to bed.

Now, being older, our sex life is a bit routine. I usually wake up about an hour before C, walk the dogs, bring in the paper and make coffee for her (I’m not much of a coffee drinker). When she wakes up I bring her a cup of coffee, and the paper and go take a shower. After my shower I go back to bed, and we usually make love.

When I came out of the shower into the bedroom C was still reading the paper, but she looked up and said, “Well Throck, I’m going to have to spank you this morning so I want you to put on your punishment panties, and go do your corner time while I finish the paper.”

I begged off. “C, could we do that tonight?” I whined. “I really don’t like to be spanked right before I make love to you. Spanking and sex involve a different set of emotions for me, and I don’t like having them conflict.” That, in fact is the truth. That is why I like to be spanked on Friday night, and then savor the “bonding rush” I get when C holds me after the spanking. Then the next morning we make love, and hopefully I still feel my warm bottom when I’m taking my shower.

“I can’t believe you said that,” said C, thinking I would never pass on a spanking. “Okay, put on your punishment panties and come back to bed. You can just wear them all day.” She really shouldn’t have let me get away with postponing my spanking, but she did.

Saturday evening came. We had had dinner, and C was working at her computer. She is a bit of a workaholic. She had not mentioned spanking since morning. I waited until after nine o’clock for some instructions, but none came. I had had a little too much wine at dinner and was feeling sleepy. I took the dogs out in the dark for a while, but when I came back in C was still at the computer. Still no instructions, so I decided to go to bed.

C came to bed about forty-five minutes later. She rolled over and patted me on the bottom. “You need to get up and get a spanking,” she said. I was a little groggy and didn’t respond immediately. “But, if you rub my back I’ll let you off until tomorrow.” I rubbed her back, and went to sleep.

The next morning I got up early because I had forgotten about changing my clock back an hour for the end of daylight savings time. I walked the dogs, made the coffee, but C still wasn’t awake. I got on the computer, and hit the spanking blogs. I posted a comment on the MBS Sunday Brunch, which was being hosted by Hermione this past weekend. It concerned obsession with spanking. I certainly have that obsession. I mentioned in the comment that I was scheduled to get a maintenance spanking in a few hours, and I was a little nervous. I was. I hadn’t had a spanking in a while, but when C has spanked me she has been much less tentative about it than she was initially. I heard C call, so I logged off and went to get her coffee, strangely excited after reading the spanking blogs about my upcoming discipline.

I took C her coffee and the paper, and then took my shower. When I finished the shower, I went to the bedroom, and got a pair of punishment panties out of my drawer, and began to put them on.

“What are you doing?” said C.

“I’m putting on punishment panties,” I said a little surprised by the question. “You told me last night you were going to spank me this morning.”

“I want you to make love to me this morning,” C said. “I thought you didn’t like to get spanked right before we make love. We’ll spank later.”

“You’re right,” I said, “but, I don’t think there will be a later. We’re having some wood delivered this morning at ten and the children will start coming in at around noon. I think we need to get this over with.” Topping from the bottom, bad form.

“Okay,” C said. “Put your panties on, and go get the hairbrush and the punishment book, and stand in the corner with them until I finish the paper.” I was headed to the bathroom to get the hairbrush when C said “Wait!” I turned around and she was holding her coffee cup out to me. “Since you’re going to be my sex slave today, please bring me another cup of coffee before you go to the corner.”

I obediently took the cup. “Sex slave,” I thought. Where did that come from? C just doesn’t talk like that. However, I sort of liked it. I got the coffee, went back to the bedroom, and gave it to C, then fetched the brush, and the punishment book, and went to the corner.

In about fifteen minutes I heard C put down the paper and her coffee cup and get out of bed. She came up behind me in the corner, put her arms around me, and rubbed and pinched my nipples. “It’s time,” she said. “I’ll spank you in the living room on the couch. We’ll leave the dogs in here.” The dogs get upset when C spanks me.

She led me to the living room and sat down in the middle of the couch. She was wearing a short nightgown and her robe was open so I got a good view of the lap I would soon be across.

There were about six items in the punishment book. C read each one of them out, and scolded me a little. C is not very good at scolding. She still views this as a game (whereas to me it is a very important ritual in our marriage that manifests her control over me), so her scolding comes off as a little artificial. There is not much of an humiliation factor to it.

As I listened, and apologized for each offence, I thought back to a comment Danielle made on the last entry in by blog concerning how she used the punishment book to discipline her husband. She would lecture her husband and then spank him with several different implements for the several different offences he had committed. “However,” she said, “one has to be reasonable. It’s a punishment, not an execution!”

Not an execution, I thought. C is only going to use the hairbrush but I’m afraid it will hurt like sin. I was getting butterflies and my legs trembled a little.

“Okay Throck, over my lap.”

I lay across C’s lap and she slowly lowered my panties. She made little circles on my bottom with the hairbrush, and then, whap! Not very hard. Whap, on the other cheek, a little harder. Whap, whap, whap on alternating cheeks and getting increasingly intense. By six or seven swats, I was squirming and crying out. I don’t know how many strokes C gave me. It seemed like a lot.

After a while I was screaming, “No, please, stop!”

“No, please and stop are not your safe words, Throck. I’ll stop when I think you are properly punished.”

Somewhere in my brain I liked hearing C’s remark. I’m not sure how it got through, the pain signals were intense.

Finally, it did stop. C held me close to her and rubbed my bottom. I buried my face in her neck. I wasn’t crying but I was breathing hard, taking great gulps of air as if I might have been sobbing.

She let me calm down for several minutes, and then said “Come back to bed and I’ll hold you some more.”

We went back to bed and C held me for a while. I finally made love to her, and she had a mind blowing, violent orgasm, something that is quite rare for C. It excited me terribly.

I thought to myself: sex slave, spanking, orgasm; is there something that is starting to push C’s buttons here? I might have to rethink my ideas on keeping spanking and sex separate.

Maintenance

2010-10-22T15:45:00.004-04:00

A number of posts ago, I discussed creating a punishment book in which I would write down all my transgressions so that C could take appropriate measures. The comments were generally negative, but Recidavist agreed with me, and had some good arguments.

The problem is that during my recent illness there was a hiatus in spanking, and I think C is having a bit of a hard time getting back into it. Also, two of the children have moved back home and that puts a damper on virtually everything.

I decided maintenance discipline might be the solution, and so I asked C to do maintenance discipline on the last Friday of each month. All she said was “Well, not if the children are home.”

“That’s fine,” I said. “I will write in the ‘Naughty Book’ all the things I need to be disciplined for.” C rolled her eyes.

One of the reasons I like the idea of a punishment book is that C misses a lot of opportunities to spank me. I thought if I wrote down the things that I screw up on she might see more reason to give me some discipline, and eventually do it spontaneously. I also noticed, in visiting one of Bonnie’s Sunday Brunches, that many people actually schedule their spankings. So, shouldn’t we?

We will see how it works out. I already have three entries in the Punishment Book. I hope the children have plans for next Friday.

Cropping

2010-09-28T14:29:00.003-04:00

My two children, who moved in with me recently, were visiting friends this past weekend. Thus, there was an opportunity to try out the crop I purchased recently in Houston.

I asked C to use it on me. When she actually held it, she was a little apprehensive about using it. I was too. I knew it would hurt like sin. I demonstrated its use on a pillow at the foot of the bed.

C said “I can’t hit you that hard.”

“Well, you have to, to give an effective cropping,” I said. “Try a few strokes on the pillow.”

C took a few tentative strokes at the pillow.

I pulled the ottoman up to the foot of the bed, and knelt on it with my upper torso supported by the bed. I was very nervous about this crop.

C lowered my punishment panties that I’m always required to wear for a spanking, and laid the crop against my bottom, apparently trying to get a feel for where to make the first cut. I had found some instructions online on “how to cane,” and she had read them, but seemed horrified.

I was very nervous as she lifted the crop.

Wap! The first stroke fell, and I hardly felt it.

“That didn’t hurt,” I said. “Do it harder.”

The next few strokes were harder, but not really painful. In a strange way, they almost felt good, sort of a tickle-itchy feeling.

C gave me about ten strokes.

“OK, that’s it,” she said.

“Don’t stop!” I pleaded.

“Your bottom is all red,” C said. “Go look in the mirror.”

I did. My bottom was slightly pink. None of the welts and stripes I had expected.

I have learned that, just as you never criticize your wife’s lovemaking technique, (although her lovemaking technique doesn’t need criticism) one never criticizes her spanking technique either, and I didn’t. You take what you can get, and be thankful that you get it, especially when you have a very vanilla wife.

It is interesting, though. C uses the hairbrush and bath brush with abandon, often pushing me to my limit. The crop, however, seems to scare her a bit. Anyway, we will continue to practice, I hope, and I think I will try to get a cane to use as well. A cane may not look as intimidating to her as a black braided leather crop.

New Toy

2010-09-17T11:42:00.002-04:00

Recently, I was in Houston, Texas for business. While there, I decided to buy C a new vibrator. There is an application called Yelp on my Iphone that I use mainly to find restaurants, but can also be used to find other commercial establishments. I checked “shopping,” “adult,” and a number of stores popped up. I picked the one that had the best reviews. The review that caught my eye said that “the staff was nice, and no question was too silly, or too perverted.” I was apprehensive about going to a sex shop but all the reviews claimed this particular one was a “classy” store with helpful people, and had existed in Houston for a very long time. I picked out a nearby restaurant and went out to dinner to get my nerve up before investigating the sex shop.

The particular area of Houston is interesting, with some nice restaurants, but is still a little sketchy. After dinner, I drove about two blocks to the store, a very sketchy area on east Westheimer near Montrose. I went into the store and it was large and well lit. I was the only customer, thank goodness. There were two sales clerks, a young man and a young woman, both very Gothic looking.

I wanted a Lelo Iris vibrator for C, and the Yelp reviews indicated the store might sell them. I walked to the checkout counter were the attractive Goth young woman was standing and noticed some Lelo vibrators in the display case. They were not what I wanted.

“Are these all the Lelo vibrators you have?” I asked the Goth girl.

“No, we have more back in the corner,” she said.

I walked back with her, and there it was, the Lelo Iris, a very pretty vibrator indeed. It was no more expensive than ordering on-line, so I bought it.

It was then I noticed a pale full of crops and canes. I picked up a crop and looked at the price, and was surprised how inexpensive it was.

“My wife spanks me,” I said,”and I need a new spanking implement.” I can’t believe I said that to her.

She didn’t bat an eye. “These are very good crops, even though they are cheap. I’m sure your wife would find it very effective.”

As we walked back to the cash register to check out, I muttered to myself, “I’m too old to be kinky.”

“You’re never too old to be kinky,” the Goth girl said. “Kink is what it’s all about.”

I hope she’s right.

When I got home, I showed the new toys to C.

“Thank you for the vibrator,” C said. Brandishing the crop, she said, “I will try to use this on you soon.”

I’m a little apprehensive about the crop. It looks pretty wicked. I don’t know how much of it I could take, and I don’t think C has a clue as to how to use it.

In any case, I don’t think it is an immediate problem, because two of our children have moved back in with us and spanking has become non-existent. It makes writing for this blog a little difficult.

Pain

2010-08-06T09:50:00.004-04:00

As I stated in my last post, I am kind of a wimp when it comes to pain. However, it seems that a spanking is not a spanking without very real pain. I’m really not sure why that is the case, but it is certainly my own experience.

A few weeks ago I asked C for a spanking just before we were going to make love. Nothing elaborate, I just wanted to lie over her lap a get a hand spanking. Now, she has complained in the past that hand spankings hurt her hand, so I fetched her gloves thinking that would help. They are not very thick gloves (they are lined leather gloves that she uses in the winter), but I thought they would give her hand some protection and they are also sexy on her.

I lay across her lap and asked her to spank me hard and fast as if she were giving a real spanking. She did, but there was no pain. She barely turned my bottom pink, even though she claimed to be spanking me as hard as she could. The spanking would have been a lost cause except for the fact that I got to lie naked over her bare thighs. The spanking itself was pretty unsatisfying without the element of pain. As Bonnie of My Bottom Smarts commented in her brunch last week, “A spanking must hurt, and more than a little, while it's happening. Ideally, it should seem like more than I want at the moment, but create vivid memories for later.” (italics mine for emphasis)

Those are my sentiments exactly. I think most spankees would agree with that statement, but why is that the case. I know about the endorphin theories, but I think there must be more to it than that. Endorphins should be released in any painful event, and I don’t think you would have a bonding rush with your wife if she accidentally kneed you in the groin. There must be something special that happens in the context of spanking that requires the pain to produce the effect, and why does the spankee actively seek that out.

Spankings are fun. The anticipation, the teasing, the dress-up and the bonding are all integral to the satisfying spanking. I have read a number of spanking writers that claim pain is not the real issue in spanking, rather it is how the spanker gets into the mind of the spankee. So, why do spankings have to hurt to make them work?

Spanked

2010-08-04T12:41:00.006-04:00

C came through on her promise of discipline for being naughty. I got a spanking last night. I thought it would be just before we went to bed. However, she came home about 5:30 and after pouring a glass of wine said, “I know you are anxious to start dinner but you need to be punished and I want you to go to the bedroom, put on your punishment panties and wait for me in the corner.”

The timing surprised me a little, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be spanked right then, but I complied. C came into the room after I had been in the corner for a few minutes and announced it was time. She made me choose the implement, and I chose the wooden hairbrush. It has a large square flat back and a shorter handle than the Vermont Country Store bath brush and I reasoned it would hurt less. The long handle on the bath brush and the smaller surface area produce more momentum and higher stress (force/area) on the bottom.

I presented C with the brush, and she lowered my panties and instructed me to lie over her lap. I did. She teased me with the brush for a few seconds and then began to spank, slowly at first, then more rapidly. I don’t think C really scolds much while spanking, but I’m not sure I would know because I am yelling and kicking about 5 spanks into my spankings. Those brushes hurt like sin, and it seems like C is becoming much less tentative in paddling me. My physics analysis of the two brushes doesn’t really seem to hold up. Both brushes hurt terribly. I may just be a wimp, but after fifteen to twenty strokes I have a difficult time staying on her lap and I contemplate using the safe word. Finally she stopped after pushing me a little farther than I wanted to go. I want her to push, but it is really hard for me.

I got off C’s lap, and she held me for a few minutes. She then told me to leave my punishment panties on, and go fix dinner. That was a little bit of a disappointment to me because I like to lie down with C, and have her hold me for a long time after a spanking. That’s when I get my best bonding rush. I’m not sure C quite gets that part of it. I expect she will one day though, and it was a very good spanking. When I sat down for dinner I could still feel it. C commented that it turned her on a little to spank me. I thus regard it as a very successful experience for both of us and look forward to the next one.

Artwork: Barbara O'Toole from Spanked_by their_Wives Yahoo Group

Texting

2010-08-03T15:00:00.006-04:00

C is really getting into this texting thing. I just got a text message that went something like this:

C: Are you behaving yourself?

Me: Not really. (I wasn't either. I was looking at spanking blogs)

C: Uh Oh. You know what that means?

Me: I hope so.

C: Think about it. I will see you later.

Me: O.K. I love you.

We have never done this sort of thing before and it really excites me for some reason. It's probably the anticipation factor. But I'm also excited that C might be getting more into spanking me. This, as far as I can remember, is the first time C has initiated a spanking. In the past I've always had to prompt for one. This is exactly the way I imagined being punished by C. I'd better go out and buy her some flowers. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Back to Blogging

2010-08-02T14:29:00.005-04:00

Well, I have had a little bout with cancer, and it has distracted me from blogging (for about eight months). Furthermore, C was not really into spanking me, since she thought my life might be in danger. Fortunately, surgery seems to have solved the problem, at least for now. So I have encouraged C to give me what I need, and she has complied. I got spanked twice this weekend. I did have to ask for it. I sent her a text message, “I’ve been naughty!” and she replied “You will have to be punished!” That gave me quite a thrill.

On Saturday morning she gave me a good spanking. While cuddling me afterward, she said, “I just don’t get it, but if it’s what you want then I’m glad to do it.” So I had my bonding rush and thought that I had had a pretty good start to the weekend.

Sunday morning came, and C was reading the paper in bed, and I was serving her coffee. She had not put the bath brush up from the day before, and it was lying on the bedside table.

“I think you need another spanking,” said C. “Come get over my lap right now.”

I was surprised but I complied. C picked up the bath brush and began to paddle me, reciting a little poem as she did:

“One two, buckle my shoe.”

“Three four, shut the door,” and so on, smacking me with the brush on each beat of the poem.

“Nine, ten, let’s do it again.” And, she did!

Wow! I think she was having a little fun at least.

I loved it. My goal is to get our spanking relationship back on track. Unfortunately, the recession is sending two of our children back home to live with us for awhile. That might be an impediment to spanking but I’ll try not to let it be an impediment to blogging.

Is Spanking a MEME?

2009-11-23T14:39:00.000-05:00

Recently a meme went around on the spanking blogs. I have seen these things before. They’re fun, but being a blog neophyte, I didn’t really understand the word “meme.” I finally got around to pulling out my dictionary (good ol’ Webster) and looking it up. Wasn’t in there! The fact that my preference was to use the actual tangible, book dictionary is enough to date me, but that’s another issue. How do I find out about this word? Wikipedia, DUH!

Here is the Wikipedia definition: A meme (pronounced /miim/, rhyming with "cream"^[1]) is a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena.

Now this is a relatively new word, which is why I did not find it in my relatively old Webster’s dictionary. It was coined by the famous atheist and evolutionary biologist, Richard Dawkins in his book “The Selfish Gene” (these are facts that most bloggers probably know, but I did not). What in the world did this have to do with the blog game? I had to read deep into the Wikipedia to find out that bloggers have co-opted the word to mean something that propagates in the blogosphere. (Aside: I think the internet version should be called bgene, pronounced bean, in analogy to weblog, i.e. web-gene)

But, to the point. The meme idea fascinates me. Is spanking a unit of cultural practice, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through rituals or other imitable phenomena? I think it may be. I have often wondered where the whole concept of spanking comes from, and how people come to need it. If spanking is fundamental to our culture it would propagate, and occasionally mutate, to give us the rainbow of spanking tastes we observe today. I would probably be a cultural mutant. Would the meme idea explain the disproportionate number of female to male spankees? What cultural evolutionary benefit would spanking provide to its adherents that would make them more successful? I may have to read “The Selfish Gene,” or some of memeticist Susan Blackmore’s work. I wonder if she’s a spanker. She sounds like a spanker.

Spanking Going Mainstream ?

2009-11-19T09:08:00.000-05:00

I don’t watch much television, but occasionally when I’m feeling unmotivated, after watching the 6:30 to 7:00 news, I flip to a silly program called “Two and a Half Men.” It’s a rather mindless formula sitcom that parades a lot of sexy women through the set and fills the dialogue with sexual innuendo, but it can be funny. Interestingly, I watched the program two nights in a row with C, and both nights spanking was mentioned. The first mention was when one of the main characters, Alan who plays a chiropractor, is adjusting a patient’s back, and the patient mentions he ricked his back spanking his wife.

The second night was more interesting. Alan the chiropractor is dating a much younger girl, and his brother Charlie is having a fling with the girls mother, who appears to be a bit older than Charlie but quite sexy.

Alan enters Charlie’s bedroom while Charlie is in bed with the mother, presumably to get advice on a problem Alan is having with having with her daughter. Charlie makes an inappropriate comment and the mother says:

“I might have to spank you.”

“I might let you,” says Charlie.

The dialog continues and Charlie makes another comment.

The mother says “You are definitely getting a spanking,” or something to that effect.

I turned to C and smiled. She didn’t take the hint.

In any case, I thought it was interesting that there were two references to spanking in a row, in a mainstream, primetime program. Furthermore, one reference was to my favorite kind of spanking, F/M. If I hear two references in row, there must be quite a few such references, but as I said, I virtually never watch sitcoms, and very little television. It would be interesting to track spanking references in the media to see if the number increases over time. Someone must surely be doing that. Perhaps when a critical number of references is reached it would signal all spankos to “come out,” because we would know that virtually everyone else is a spankaphile too.

Artist: DWIG , Yahoo Group Luv Her Control

Worth A Million Statues

2009-11-10T16:40:00.003-05:00

I have to admit that even though I love C to take me over her knee, with respect to spanking art, and photography, I prefer looking at the female bottom. I suppose I could be a switch; I would be happy to spank C, if she liked (which she doesn’t), if only for the view. There is not much F/M spanking photography that turns me on. If males could all look like Michelangelo’s David, it might be different, but we don’t, and I certainly do not. C says I have a cute bottom, but I think she is being generous. Consequently, I have to appreciate any spanking C gives me; since for her, the esthetics of the spanking may not be optimum. I think esthetics in erotic endeavors is important, and it brings to mind a favorite poem of mine by E. E. Cummings. C gave me a compendium of E. E. Cummings poems years ago, and though not one of his famous poems, this is one of my favorites. He must have anticipated the internet, twitter, etc., since he wrote everything in lower case.

mr youse needn't be so spry

mr youse needn't be so spry
concernin questions arty

each has his tastes but as for i
i likes a certain party

gimme the he-man's solid bliss
for youse ideas i'll match youse

a pretty girl who naked is
is worth a million statues

ee cummings

One might change the last couplet to:

a pretty girl who spanked naked is
is worth a million statues

With apologies to E .E. Cummings.

The Kink Index

2009-11-06T10:37:00.004-05:00

I am curious as to whether women experience spanking the same way men do. I think probably not. In surfing F/M spanking blogs and groups it appears men prefer a punishment aspect to their spankings. Men seem to want to feel like naughty boys, and want to be taken in hand by their female partner; I certainly do. Women, on the other hand seem to appreciate a wider range of spanking types, from erotic, to punishment, to just play. My evidence is only anecdotal, of course.

All spankings are erotic to some degree, if only by virtue of being across the spanker's lap partially or totally naked, or even by being exposed to the spanker in naughty ways. Well, I say all. I have seen reports on blogs and groups of men being forced to have an orgasm before a spanking to make it truly a “punishment” spanking. I have never seen, on the many M/F spanking blogs and groups that I read, a report of a female being forced to have an orgasm before a punishment spanking. There seems to be some asymmetry here. Also the relationship between orgasm and spanking obviates the sexual nature of adult spanking (we all know that anyway).

In my case, orgasm makes my kink index go negative. After an orgasm (as my crude graph shows; click on it and it becomes bigger, and more readable) I have no desire for kinky sexual activity. In fact, if I have had a spanking, the negative kink index implies that I’m just slightly embarrassed about it and I wonder why I’m wired as I am. If I haven’t had a spanking, I probably have a kinky movie running in my head during sexual activities, usually in which C has a leading role (If I need a spanking and don’t get one, as the graph indicates, my kink index grows and my movies get kinkier). After orgasm, I wonder why I can’t just look at C and have enough of a “turn on” with that. She really is a beautiful woman. I’m a little embarrassed by the fact that I’m running these movies; not so embarrassed that I won’t do it again, but, in other words, my kink index goes negative. Orgasm is the "step function" of kink. I still want to cuddle with C after orgasm, but kink is out of the picture.

In any case, I definitely would not like to be spanked immediately after an orgasm, when I’m in negative territory. Furthermore, I think that is why my preference is not to use spanking as foreplay. I like to experience the “bonding rush,” and I like to stay on the spanking high for a while. I suppose that I could still think of a spanking as erotic foreplay, only very “fore,” like the night before. And although I want to feel like a punished naughty boy, I need to have a positive kink index to achieve the bonding rush.

My question, for all the women out there who love to be spanked, is: Does your kink index go negative after an orgasm, or are you just as happy to have a spanking after an orgasm as before, or can you take spankings between multiple orgasms and still maintain a positive kink index?

Green Kink

2009-11-03T10:00:00.003-05:00

A recent edition of Time magazine displayed several "eco-friendly" floggers stating:

"Earth Erotics makes its whips out of recycled inner tubes. Other companies are creating items that do not contain phthalates, which are used to soften plastics and have been linked to premature puberty in girls and low-sperm production in boys. 'Our taboos prevent us from having the same consumer-safety conversations that are commonplace when you're making a toothbrush, sneaker or baby bottle,' says Ethan Imboden, founder of Jimmyjane, a luxury adult-toy maker based in San Francisco." There is also an eco-friendly pink flogger displayed in the article.

Is spanking going green and mainstream at the same time? Of course, the most Eco-friendly spanking implement is a firm hand. I hope our Vermont Country Store bath brush meets the Green criteria. The article in the October 26, 2009 edition of Time is a fun read. Also available online. I'm going to show the article to C so that she will know she is not on the fringe.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T07:10:00.001-04:00

Do You Need A Spanking???

Happy Halloween everyone. Hope everyone's bottom glows like a pumpkin today. And yes, I desperately need a spanking. It has been over a month now. I am trying to think of a naughty trick to play on C that would earn me a spanking treat. I can just imagine C dressed in a sexy witch costume working her magic on my bottom. What tricks do you play on your spanker to earn a spanking? If you have ideas please let me know in a hurry. I'm desperate.

Again, Happy Halloween, and I hope everyone gets their just "desserts."

Artist: Unknown, from Luv_Her_Control Yahoo Group

A Spanking Fantasy Part II

2009-10-09T10:09:00.002-04:00

The wedding was fun, although I ate and drank too much at the reception. I was busy most of the evening entertaining bridesmaids. At one point I did notice that C and Rosalynn were in deep conversation. Wonder what they are up to?

The wedding was over. We went back to the hotel and I collapsed into bed and went to sleep thinking about the clerk at the bath shop, and wondering what she was imagining when she had her little orgasm. I’m sure she had an orgasm.

We slept late on Sunday morning. C was up first, of course.

“Throck, get up and take a shower and get into your punishment panties. We have some unfinished business to take care of.”

“Oh C, please. Can’t we wait until we get home?”

“No, we can’t. Oh, and before you take a shower, I think you had better have an enema. You are going to do some serious corner time and I don’t want excuses about having to go to the bathroom.”

“No, no. I don’t need that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“What will you give me an enema with? We didn’t bring anything.”

“I have my douche syringe. I’ll use that.”

“No, that will hurt. Besides, you can’t use it if you give me an enema with it.”

“You’re right. It will be yours after this. I’ll just send you to the drug store to buy me a new one. Now quit whining and get in position on you knees, and don’t give me any trouble or I’ll double your strokes.”

Oh my god. What has gotten into this woman? I assumed the knee chest position on the bed. I heard C filling her syringe in the bathroom. She came into the bedroom with a full syringe and a tube of lubricant.

C set the syringe, glistening with lubricant, on the bedside table. The nozzle was nearly eight inches long and an inch in diameter. My legs were shaking. “Reach back and spread your cheeks apart for me,” said C.

C applied some lube to my anus and picked up the syringe.

“Oh, please don’t, please don’t,” I whined.

“Hush now,” said C. “This will just hurt a little.”

I felt the tip of the syringe against my anus. “Relax now,” said C. “Take a few deep breaths.” She thrust the nozzle into my rectum with a slow but steady motion. I groaned.

Instead of immediately injecting the water she stroked the douche syringe in and out several times. I groaned more.

“You like being sodomized with my syringe, don’t you?”

“Noooo,” I whined. I did like it.

“Oh, I think you do.”

She stroked me for nearly a minute, and then said, “Here it comes,” and squeezed the water into me.

She pulled the syringe out and said. “Hold that, I’m going to give you one more.”

“Oh no,” I groaned.

C refilled her syringe and returned to the bedroom.

“Okay, sweetie, here it comes.” She thrust the syringe into my rectum, and again stroked it in and out, finally injecting the fluid. I moaned softly.

“Can you see the clock radio on the bedside table?” C asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“The time is 10:22. I want you to hold the enema for ten minutes. At 10:32 you can go to the bathroom. Then take a shower, put on your punishment panties and come to the living room. Understand? ”

“Yes,” I groaned.

“Oh, and take one of your little blue pills. I want you in the same state for your spanking as you were the other night when you did your naughty thing.”

C left the bedroom and I waited, the water churning inside of me. Ten minutes seemed like an eternity. Several times I wondered if I would make it. I knew if I didn’t my strokes would be increased. Finally 10:32 lit up on the clock and I rushed to the bathroom. The relief was wonderful.

I showered, put on the boy shorts and took a pill. What a waste of a pill; my “state” as C called it would last about ten seconds after my spanking started. I got the perfume I had bought to give her as a present, hoping it might mitigate my spanking. I went to the living room to see what else C had in store for me. We were in a very nice suite, living room, small kitchen and bedroom.

C was sitting in the club chair. She had dressed for occasion in a white sleeveless blouse and a knee length full black skirt that buttoned down the front. The skirt had a wide belt with a patent leather buckle. She had on her pearls, and matching pearl earrings that could just be seen peaking out beneath her short dark hair. Overall, a very sexy and appropriately severe look. “Kneel in front of me,” she said. I knelt and presented her with my gift.

“What is this?”

“I bought you a little gift,” I said sheepishly.

C unwrapped the present. “Spank Me,” C laughed. “How appropriate, I will indeed. Throck, it was sweet of you to get me a present but you understand that it will not get you out of your spanking, don’t you?” C put some of the perfume on. “Oh, it smells good.”

“It’s designed by Francois Guillermo.” I said, hoping that would mean to her it was expensive, which it was, but she didn’t seem to pick up on that. “Maybe you won’t hurt me too much.”

“Oh, sweetie, it’s going to hurt. I have to hurt you. I’m sorry, but you did a naughty thing and if I didn’t give you a good spanking what would you think of me?”

I hung my head. I knew she would spank me hard, but I had no idea what else she had in mind.

“Go back to the bedroom and get the new bath brush, the punishment book and the notes the sales clerks wrote you, and then come back in here and go stand in the corner. I think you need about fifteen minutes of corner time to think about how naughty you are, don’t you?”

“Yes C,” I said humbly.

“Well, run along. Let’s get this thing started.”

I retrieved the hairbrush, the naughty book and the notes, and returned to the corner. I hadn’t been in the corner five minutes when there was a knock at the door. Oh my god, I thought. It is probably the maid. Surely C will send her away. I thought the “Do Not Disturb” sign was on the door.

C opened the door. “Am I on time?” a bright, cheery voice said. It was C’s cousin Rosalynn.

“Right on time,” said C. “Come on in.”

Oh no, this couldn’t be happening I thought. What is C thinking? I thought about running back to the bedroom, but I just froze hoping to disappear into the corner.

“Oh, there’s our naughty boy,” said Rosalynn. “What cute pink boy shorts he has on. Well, I guess, after all, he is a naught boy, zzzzzzzzz.”

Rosalynn would always make that little buzzing sound when she thought she was being clever. I was tired of that joke, and I was humiliated. But, I couldn’t bring myself to call a stop to all of this.

“I brought the things you asked for, C”

“Oh, good,” said C. “We can go in the kitchen and get it ready.”

Get what ready, I thought. I don’t like the sound of this.

The girls were in the kitchen about fifteen minutes chatting and giggling and getting up to god knows what.

“This is very interesting,” I heard Rosalynn say. “Where did you ever learn about this?”

“I saw it on the web. Throck was reading about it on one of the blogs he reads and it came up on the history file when I was looking for something else. Thought it had something to do with cooking at first, and I read it. He usually deletes the history file so I won’t know what he’s been up to, but he got sloppy this time. I think he may live to regret it,” both girls giggled.

I heard C and Rosalynn leave the kitchen and go into the bedroom. They closed the door and I could hear muffled conversation, probably C giving Rosalynn details of the protocol. I was very nervous; I knew it was not the protocol I was used to. Usually I would simply kneel in front of C while she went through the punishment book and pronounced my sentence. I was sure there was more in store for me this time. My legs were trembling.

Soon I heard the door open. “Throck, bring your things and come into the bedroom,” C said with a no nonsense tone.

I went to the bedroom. It was a large bedroom with a king-sized bed, a desk, several chairs and a love seat. C was sitting on the side of the bed with her back to me, and facing Rosalynn, who was seated on the love seat by the window. Rosalynn was wearing a short, tight white skirt that showed off her very attractive and shapely legs, and a pink tank top that revealed substantial cleavage. These were very attractive, if mature, women that were about to abuse me. I had to parade in front of Rosalynn to go around the end of the bed to face C. My embarrassment was absolute and I blushed over my entire body. Rosalyn had a big grin on her face. She was obviously enjoying my predicament. I, on the other hand could barely fathom what was making me submit to this humiliation. Did I have some perverse need? My emotions were total humiliation and yet excitement; I had an erection. My mind was swirling. I couldn’t understand how I was even moving.

I knelt in front of C and presented her with the punishment book, bath brush and notes, and waited for my sentence. I could feel Rosalynn’s eyes on my boy shorts pantied bottom. I waited with trepidation as C leafed through the punishment book and read the notes.

“Spank your naughty husband hard with this brush, PLR. Was the clerk upset with you, Throck?” C said when she read the note.

“No,” I said. “She got rather excited when I told her about the brush and asked for a note. I almost think she had an orgasm, right there in the store.”

“How naughty of you,” said C.

Uh oh, I thought. Shouldn’t have said that.

“Perhaps you should have written that in your naughty book. I asked you to buy a brush, not to give young girls orgasms.”

“She wasn’t young,” I protested. I could hear Rosalynn suppress a giggle. C just gave me a stern look.

“Well your basic spanking is ten strokes. You will get five more for masturbating. You forgot to write in the book that you squirted your nasty boy juice all over me. For that you will get and additional five strokes. Furthermore, you will be figged for this spanking,” C leaned over to the bedside table an picked up a spade shaped plug of ginger about four inches long, and held it up to show me. I had been so distressed; I hadn’t even noticed it there.

Figged, I thought. That’s what they were doing in the kitchen, carving a ginger fig. I had been reading about figging on a site on the web last week and C had found me out.

“You certainly must know what figging is,” said C. “After all, I found out about it on a naughty site you had apparently been reading.”

“Oh,” I groaned. How could I be so stupid?

“And, finally you will receive an additional five strokes for surfing the naughty sites without my knowledge or permission. I think you forgot to write that in your naughty book as well. I think that makes twenty-five in all.”

“I’m sorry C,” I said hanging my head.

“Yes, I’m sure you are, and I’m sure you will be. Now, I want you to stand up and turn around and face Rosalynn, and apologize to her for your naughtiness, and for her having to witness this spectacle.”

“Oh please, C.”

“Come on. Stand up. Be quick about it.”

I stood up slowly and turned around and faced Rosalynn. My mortification was nearly complete, or so I thought. As I tried to find the words for my apology, C slowly lowered my panties to my knees.

“Oh my god, C. He has an erection!” Rosalynn exclaimed.

“Yes he does,” said C. “And for being so rude, I think we will have to add an additional five strokes.”

“That’s not fair, C. You made me take a pill,” I whined.

“Do you want to argue about it?” C said firmly.

“No,” I replied sheepishly. I was completely beaten and was going to be literally so.

“Well, let’s hear that apology.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been bad and that you have to witness my punishment, Rosalynn.”

“I’m sorry too, Throck,” said Rosalynn, trying to give me a look of pity. “But this is for your own good, and I’m sure you will feel better about it after it’s over.” I knew that inside she was grinning from ear to ear, and couldn’t wait to get home and tell Ken about this. How would I ever face Ken again?

“Okay, Throck. Turn around and get over my knee. We don’t want to delay this any longer than we have to.”

I turned around. C had unbuttoned several of the buttons of her skirt exposing the stockinged top of her left thigh. I draped myself over her leg supporting my upper body on the bed. She bent my erection down so it pressed against the inside of her thigh. Won’t have that long, I thought, but it felt erotic, rubbing against her stocking. C locked her right leg over my legs to secure me in place and prevent kicking once the spanking started. One or all of us has got to be sick, I thought. It seemed everyone was getting some sort of pleasure out of this, even me, although I knew mine would soon be coming to an end.

“All right, Throck, I’m going to insert the fig now. This is going to be a little uncomfortable I’m afraid. As you know, I can’t lubricate the ginger because it won’t work then. You are going to have to try your best to relax so I can get this in. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I groaned.

“Okay, reach back and spread your cheeks for me, or do you prefer Rosalynn to do that?”

“Nooo,” I reached back and spread my cheeks as instructed.

“Aw,” I heard Rosalynn say.

“Okay, take a few deep breaths and try to relax. Here we go.”

I felt the tip of the ginger plug against my anus as C slowly began to try to work it into my rectum with a twisting motion.

It immediately started to burn. “Oh, it hurts, it burns,” I said and started to squirm. I let go of my cheeks.

“Quit wiggling, and relax and take this, Throck. If you can’t hold your cheeks apart Rosalynn is here to help.”

“Nooo,” I cried. I reached back and spread my cheeks again and tried to concentrate. Oh, it burned. Millimeter by millimeter C worked the plug into my rectum. It seemed that it took forever. Finally the fattest part of the plug passed my sphincter and I felt the muscle contract and squeeze the rest of the plug into my rectum until it was blocked by the spade-like flare at the very end.

“There, it’s in,” said C. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

My anus felt like it was on fire and my sphincter and buttocks were experiencing alternating spasms.

C picked up the bath brush and began to rub is on my cheeks.

“All right, Throck, it’s time. I want you to look at Rosalynn. I want her to see your shame. Open your eyes. Look her in the eye and not up her dress.”

I opened my eyes and looked at Rosalynn who was staring at me with a wry smile. The shame was intense but in some way exciting. I wanted to sneak a peak up her dress, but didn’t dare. I tried to keep my eyes locked on hers. It was difficult and humiliating.

C was making little circles on my buttocks with the brush. “Your sentence is thirty strokes with the brush. What do you say?”

“I’m sorry for being naughty, C. May I please have my spanking now?”

“Yes you may.”

I felt the brush lift off my bottom. My bottom was burning and twitching from the fig.

Wwaaap. The first blow struck my right cheek.

“Yeeoow!” I screamed, closing my eyes, and losing eye contact with Rosalynn.

Wwaaap! Wwaaap! Wwaaap! Three more fell on alternate cheeks. I screamed and my upper body began to buck. C was not much for warm ups, or just didn’t know about them. Got to educate her I thought.

Wwaaap, “Yeeoow!” Wwaaap, “Yeeoow!” Wwaaap, “Yeeoow!”

My bottom was on fire. I didn’t even feel the fig anymore. My whole bottom burned. My erection was long gone. I tried to regain eye contact with Rosalynn. Her expression had changed from a wry smile to, I thought, a mild look of concern.

Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap. I was yelling and writhing in pain. My bottom was bouncing up and down and my legs were struggling against C’s lock. C paused.

“You must stop wiggling, Throck. We’re only half way through.”

“I can’t take it, C. It hurts so. Please stop”

“You must take it, and you will. Now compose yourself, stop wiggling and look at Rosalynn.” Even though I complained bitterly, C had a good feel for my limits and was always willing to push them a little. I could trust her not to kill me, but she would make sure I got my needed dose of pain. Rosalynn didn’t know this, however, and now had a real look of concern on her face.

“His bottom is awfully red, C”

“Oh, it’s just a little pink. It will be a much nicer shade when I’m finished.” I felt the brush lifted from my bottom again.

Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap. I screamed; I writhed. I broke into a sweat and buried my face in the bed. I could no longer look at Rosalynn.

Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap, Wwaaap. The blows fell hard and fast on alternate cheeks. Screaming, I clawed at the bedspread trying to escape but C had me firmly locked in place with her right leg and her hand pressed against my back. Then suddenly it stopped.

“It’s over now, Throck. Get up,” C said softly.

I slid off C’s lap to the floor and then kneeled up and hugged her and she held my head against her breast. Then I realized I was sobbing. I had never cried during or after a spanking. This time, however, the emotional acrobatics C had put me through had really done a number on my mind. The sobbing was cathartic. C held me close to her and I wanted to melt into her. I could feel her love flowing into me. This was a bonding rush, big time. C held me for a long time until I regained my composure.

“All right, Throck, it’s all over now, but you still have some corner time to do. Hop up and get back to the corner. You can leave your panties down so we can see that pretty red bottom and we’ll leave the fig in as well.”

I slowly rose and hobbled back to the corner, panties around my knees. I hardly noticed the fig, my bottom was still tingling.

“Rosalynn and I are going down to the restaurant to have lunch. I’ll bring something back for you, but I expect you to be good, and not leave that corner unless there is a fire alarm. Do you understand?”

“Yes C,” I said meekly.

“Good. We’ll see you in a little while.”

With that Rosalynn and C left the suite and closed the door behind them. Unbeknownst to me, C took the “Do Not Disturb” sign off the door and replaced it with the “Please Make Up The Room” sign. I heard C and Rosalynn giggling as they walked down the hall.

………

“Throck, wake up! The wedding is at three and I have to be at the mall in an hour to get my hair fixed.”

Artwork: Barbara O'Toole

A Spanking Fantasy Part I

2009-10-05T15:47:00.006-04:00

I have decided to try my hand at writing some spanking fiction. I attended an out-of-town wedding recently and this fantasy developed as a result. The story has become rather long and is not finished yet, and since I have not posted in a while, I have decided to split it into two parts and post the first part today. Now, writing is really not my forte, but I hope this is fun. Here it is:

A Fantasy

The rehearsal dinner was a fine affair, with more beautiful women than my libido could handle. What is it about weddings that bring out the inner beauty every woman seems to possess? By the time C and I returned to the hotel, I was in an exceedingly amorous state.

Cuddling with C in bed I said, “Do you want to make love?”

“I think it is almost midnight and I have to get up early in the morning. Why don’t you rub my back?”

As I rubbed her back, I thought for a few moments, “Would you rub me and help me have an orgasm?”

“You want to masturbate? What are our rules on masturbation?” C said as if talking to a fourth grader.

I sighed, “I have to write in my ‘Naughty Book’ that I masturbated, and I will get a spanking,” I said, feeling like a fourth grader.

“Well, is your orgasm worth a spanking?” she said softly

I thought about it for a while. If I waited until C was asleep I could have my orgasm without getting a spanking. However, if I woke her up while “jiggling,” as C called it, I would get double the infraction strokes added to my base spanking which consisted of ten strokes. I should have booked a room with two beds instead of this king size bed we were in. Oh well, she always seems to know when I have an unauthorized orgasm anyway.

“I guess it is,” I said.

“Okay,” said C, and turned over and began to rub me. C rubbed my nipples while I did the hand work. Her nipple rubbing always brings me to rapid orgasm. Curiously, I fantasized about my upcoming spanking at C’s hand rather than the women at the rehearsal dinner. C made me have a mind blowing orgasm in under a minute.

“Oh, Throck! You got your nasty boy juice all over my arm. Get up and get me a towel.”

I got up and got her a towel and came back to bed. As I cuddled with her, I drifted off into a deep, deep sleep.

“Throck, wake up!”

“I have an appointment at the mall to have my hair cut this morning, and you have some errands to run. Also, I want to go down and have breakfast before we go.”

“I don’t have any errands to run. I got my tux yesterday,” I said, turning over and hoping to go back to sleep.

“Throck, I think you have to write in your Naughty Book, don’t you? And, I have some things for you to get at the mall. Go on and get up. We’ll discuss it at breakfast.”

I groaned, and sat up on the side of the bed. “Did you really bring the Naughty Book?” I asked.

“Yes dear,” C called from the bathroom. “I thought you might get into mischief. You usually do at weddings. It’s in my suitcase.”

I got dressed and rummaged through her suitcase and found the Naughty Book at the bottom. What I didn’t find was the spanking hairbrush. I hadn’t brought it, so either I would get a fifteen stroke hand spanking (no problem I thought), or the spanking would wait until we got home.

I dutifully wrote in my punishment book:

9/25/09 Masturbated with permission. 5 strokes.

C was dressed and finished with her makeup, so we went downstairs to breakfast.

“Throck, I will be a few hours getting my hair fixed and I have some things for you to do at the mall,” C said while basting a croissant with marmalade. “If I left you here you would probably just masturbate again. You know what they say about idle hands.”

She was probably right, but I really didn’t want to run her errands at the mall. I hate malls and she was probably going to have me buy her some tampons or something. Little did I know?

“You probably noticed when you were looking for the Naughty Book that I didn’t bring a spanking implement.” said C. “I assume you didn’t bring one, did you?”

“Yes, I noticed, and no, I didn’t bring one.”

“Well then,” said C, “that’s your first errand, to buy a good hairbrush or bath brush. I assume you know what’s required. I believe there is a bath store in the mall.”

Yes, I knew what was required, I thought. Oh well, at least I wasn’t assigned to buy tampons.

“There is another issue,” said C. “I don’t suppose you brought any punishment panties with you, did you?”

Oh no. Surely she wasn’t going to make me buy punishment panties. “C, please don’t. You know that I always order those online.”

“Well, this will be a new experience for you,” she said. “I want you to go into one of the department stores and buy some cotton panties with a cute print. You know, like teddy bears, that little girls would wear, and then also get a lacy pair of boy shorts like big girls would wear. You can wear the teddy bears under your tux today to remind you of what is to come. And, if you get too frisky with the bridesmaids at the reception, I just might tell them what you have on. The boy shorts you can wear as punishment panties tomorrow, or maybe we’ll reverse it and have you wear the boy shorts under your tux and the little girl teddy bears for your spanking. What do you think?”

“I can’t do that C. Besides, what are boy shorts?”

“Just ask the clerk. I’m sure she will be glad to help. And you will do it, because if you don’t, I will double your strokes.” C was enjoying my fear. I was already blushing.

The waitress noticed and came over to the table. “Is there any thing wrong, sir?”

“Ah, no; thanks. It’s, uh, just one of my medications, it causes me to flush. You know, like a hot flash.”

“Oh,” she looked at me with concern. “Would you like some water?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks.”

“Okay.”

C was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat. “Like a hot flash? More like a bottom burn, isn’t it?”

“Oh and there is one more requirement for buying your punishment panties and brush.”

“I don’t think I want to know,” I said.

“You will have to tell both clerks that help you that the items will be used in the spanking you are to receive from me tomorrow. And, because I don’t quite trust you to do that, you will have to get them to write a note on the back of the receipt indicating they know about your impending spanking. You know, something like ‘Your husband told me he is to be spanked in these panties, or with this brush.’ You had better get some cash. I’m sure you don’t want to use your American Express card for these purchases.”

I was speechless. I could feel the heat in my face and the waitress was looking over at the table again. I thought I might faint.

I took a sip of orange juice and recovered a bit.

“C, please!” was all I could say. She was really going to make me pay a price for that orgasm.

“Don’t worry sweetie. We’re from out of town, and you will never see any of these people again.”

“I’ll be arrested as a pervert if I go into the store and buy teddy bear panties and tell the clerk that I’m to be spanked in them!”

“Oh, nonsense,” said C. “Now let’s go. My appointment is in fifteen minutes.”

We drove to the mall and I followed C into the mall and to the door of the hair salon, all the time feeling like I was walking to an execution.

“Throck, I want you to be back here at 11:30, okay?”

“Please don’t make me do this,” I said. I could feel my legs trembling.

“You don’t have to do it, Throck, but I’ll double the strokes for each task you don’t accomplish. That will be a lot of strokes, so I think you should try your best for me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Well, run along then. It won’t be that bad.”

C patted me on the bottom and turned and went into the hair salon.

Years ago I had asked C to spank me for little things that either annoyed her or seemed somehow “naughty.” After many years of marriage, I wanted to give her more control and somehow demonstrate more submission to her. I’m not exactly sure why, but I just on occasion wanted to be treated like a naughty little boy and spanked by C.

C was vanilla in the extreme, and was slow to warm up to spanking me. However, with time, and a lot of coaxing from me, she gradually began to spank me more frequently. We developed a spanking ritual that usually involved “punishment panties,” corner time and, of course, spanking. The ritual was mostly my creation and it is not really clear to me why I decided on the particular protocol, especially the punishment panties. The ritual, however, added some excitement to my spankings and gave them some structure. The punishment book came later, as a way to remind C that I needed a spanking. I could either write in it myself, or at her direction. She could review it at any time and give me a spanking. We had worked out a number of strokes for each transgression and C was at liberty to specify a punishment for things that weren’t specifically listed in the infraction section. The book added an element of anticipation to my spankings and helped increase their frequency.

This experience, however, was a whole new turn of events, and one that I couldn’t quite get my head around. C had really upped the ante here. Was she doing this to discourage my spanking fetish or had she suddenly gotten into it in a big way? I began to wonder if I should have encouraged her so much to take control. At the time I craved her control. Now I was scared. Could I do this? I didn’t know. If I succeeded in carrying out her assigned tasks it might open up a whole new aspect of our relationship. If I failed it might be of no consequence, but it might destroy a spanking relationship that I had cultivated for a long time. I felt like this was a critical moment. I felt like something would change as a result of my success or failure, but what. Was C testing me, and what was her purpose? I wandered through the mall for about thirty minutes trying to figure out what to do, and realizing all the while that my time was growing short.

I walked past a lingerie store and glanced in the shop. I wondered if it would be easier to buy the panties there, or in a department store. The staff looked very young. Would they be more open to this little game C was playing with me?

I walked on to the end of the mall where there was a large department store. I went in past the cosmetics and perfume counter.

“Would you like to test our latest fragrance?” a voice interrupted my thoughts.

I turned and faced an attractive young girl. “It’s called ‘Spank Me’,” she said.

“You’re kidding.”

“No. It’s very nice,” she said as she sprayed the perfume on a paper strip. “You’re wife would just love it.”

She waved the paper under my nose. It did smell nice, like gardenias with a hint of some erotic spice. It was sexy; I liked it.

“Is this what you are supposed to wear when you get spanked?” I said.

“What?” she gave a queer look.

“Oh, I think I’ll pass thanks. Can you tell me where I can buy pant…, uh, where the lingerie department is?”

“It’s on the second floor, but if you’re going up there to buy your wife a gift, don’t buy her one of those little tacky teddies. If you want to get her something nice, buy her this perfume. We women all know that when you buy that tacky sexy stuff it’s really for you, not for us.”

“Well, if I give her that perfume she might spank me,” I chuckled.

“You would probably deserve it,” she giggled.

I looked at my watch. I was running out of time.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll take it.”

“Good decision! Would you like it gift wrapped?”

“Sure”

“What’s the occasion, anniversary, birthday?”

“No,” I said.

“Oh, I bet it’s the first time you made love then.”

What a cheeky kid. “No, I just get her things from time to time.”

“That’s nice. Well, here you are,” she said holding up the gold package with a pretty red bow. “That will be ninety dollars.”

“Ninety dollars!”

“Well, this perfume is designed by Francois Guillermo, after all,” she said with an air of exasperation.

“Okay, okay.” Who the hell is Francois Guillermo, I thought.

“Now where is lingerie?” I said.

“Up the escalator and to the right,” replied the clerk. “But no tacky teddies!”

“I’m buying panties for myself. My wife is going to spank me in them,” I said, shaking the perfume box at her.

The clerk just rolled her eyes and waved me off. “Have fun,” she said. “No teddies.”

Looking at my watch I hurried up the escalator. I had a little less than an hour left. The cute perfume clerk had relaxed me a little, but I still had butterflies. I was going to have to make short work of the panty buying.

As I walked into the lingerie department I scanned it for what might be a sympathetic clerk. I saw no one. I dawdled in the nightgown section for a minute and inched toward the panties. My anxiety was growing. What was I going to do? I didn’t even know what “boy shorts” were. Maybe they were like boxers. Why would she want me to buy boxers?

“May I help you with something, sir?” I froze.

I turned slowly to face an attractive woman in her late thirties or early forties. Not beautiful, but attractive and “put together,” so to speak. I glanced at her left hand. She was wearing a wedding and an engagement ring in a Tiffany setting. I had hoped for a younger, unmarried clerk. I thought such a person might be more open-minded. I was out of time. I had to go with what fate had dealt me.

“Uh, yes. You see, uh, my wife is playing a little control game with me,” I said, blushing from head to toe. “She has sent me in here to buy, uh, panties. That is, she has sent me in here to buy panties, uh, uh…” I stuttered. The clerk waited patiently. “Well, she has sent me in here to buy panties for, uh, me,” I finally got it out. I felt like I was perspiring.

The clerk gave me a sweet little smile. “It’s quite all right, sir. Lots of men come in here to buy panties for themselves.”

“They do?”

“Oh, yes indeed. What did you, or your wife, have in mind?”

“I need some cotton panties with teddy bears,” I blurted out, feeling the heat of embarrassment rising through my body.

“What size?”

“I, uh, I don’t know.”

“What is your waist size?”

“Thirty-six,” I said.

“You probably need a size eleven, or maybe a twelve to give you a little more room, if you know what I mean,” she chuckled. I blushed. This was painful.

“Let’s see what we have over here,” she walked to a counter with packages of cotton panties and began rummaging through them.

“I don’t think we have any teddy bears, but we do have these with a lollipop print in your size. It’s a package of three.”

“That’s fine,” I said, wanting to make the quickest exit possible.

“Great. Is there anything else you need?”

Oh, the indignity. “Yes,” I whispered. “I need a pair of ‘boy shorts.’”

“What,” said the clerk?

“Arrhmm, boy shorts” I said. “I don’t know what they are.”

“Ah, boy shorts. Well I suppose that makes sense. After all, you are a boy,” she said with a little giggle.

She led me to another counter that contained lacy and gauzy underwear. She held up a pair of pink gauzy underwear. “I think these would work. So, do you like these, or would you prefer another color?” she said.

“Those are fine,” I said, glancing at my watch. I only had thirty minutes before I had to meet C and I still had to buy the brush. I really wanted to be out of the lingerie department.

“Great,” she said. “Come over here and I’ll ring you up.”

The clerk rang up the panties and said, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Well, I uh, well. Well, I do have one favor to ask,” I said.

The clerk stood patiently looking at me.

“Well, I, uh, I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but my wife is going to spank me in these panties,” I whispered.

“What” said the clerk?

Was this woman deaf? I leaned closer. “My wife is going to spank me in these panties, and she instructed me to tell you that, and get confirmation that I told you. Could you write on the back of this receipt that I told you?”

The woman looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity.

“You need a note?” she laughed.

“Yes.” I wanted to crawl under the counter and curl up in the fetal position.

She took the receipt and wrote on the back: Your husband told me he is to be spanked in these panties. KNP

“Will that do?” she said with a grin.

“Yes, thank you very much. I’m so sorry to bother you with this.”

“No problem,” she said. “Come back any time.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I hope there’s not another time.” I turned and beat a hasty retreat out of the lingerie department.

Down the escalator and past the cosmetics counter.

“Did you get some nice panties,” called the perfume clerk with a giggle. “No teddies, I hope.”

I just smiled and waved and hurried down the mall.

The bath store was on the way back to the hair salon. The brush would be an easier purchase, accept for the damn note. The mall was getting crowded. I hoped that there would not be too many people in the bath store.

Unfortunately five or six people were browsing the small store. There appeared to be two clerks. I had no trouble finding a bath brush. It was constructed of some blond wood and about fourteen inches long with an oval brush and good flat surface on the back. I imagined it would hurt a great deal when C used it on my bottom. However, my immediate problem was to discreetly tell a clerk what the brush would be used for, and obtain a note from her. I only had twenty minutes left. I browsed in a corner of the store away from most of the other customers. The clock kept ticking. Finally a clerk approached me, an older woman in her forties.

“May I help you, sir?”

My stomach churned. Why was I doing this? “Yes,” I said quietly. “I want to buy this bath brush,” I said , holding up the brush.

“No problem. I’ll be glad to check you out,” said the clerk.

“Well, there is a problem,” I whispered. “I apologize for having to tell you this, but my wife is playing a little control game with me. She is going to spank me with this brush and …”

“Your wife is going to spank you!” the clerk blurted out. Several customers in the store turned our way. God, I can’t believe it, I thought.

“Yes,” I whispered. It seemed to me that the clerks breathing became slightly labored, maybe my imagination. “And, my wife has ordered me to ask the clerk that sells me this brush to write a note on the receipt indicating that I have told her what it is for.”

I couldn’t believe I was spewing this out, but I was desperate for time. If I got back late, C would use it as an excuse to double my strokes.

The clerk stood facing me with a dazed look. Her breathing was definitely faster. Her breasts were rising and falling in her white tank top. I thought, she is going to call mall security at any moment. I’ll be hauled away I thought.

The clerk closed her eyes briefly, and then let out a sigh. “So you want a naughty-boy note?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You want me to write you a naughty-boy note to tell your wife you should be spanked with that bath brush?”

“Uh, yes please.” God, this was weird.

“Come with me,” she commanded.

I followed her to the cash register and she rang up my purchase. She wrote on the back of the receipt: Spank your naughty husband hard with this brush. PLR. As she was writing, her breathing quickened and her face became flushed. She closed her eyes and let out an orgasmic sigh as she pushed the receipt across the counter to me.

I grabbed the receipt, “Thanks,” and dropped the bath brush into the bag with the panties and perfume. I turned around and headed for the door. Thank god that was over. Three minutes to meet C. I looked back and saw the clerk still coming off her mini-orgasm. I thought, I should have offered her a fresh pair of my lollipop panties. No time to go back now though.

I got to the hair salon right on time. I walked in and asked the receptionist about my wife.

“She’s almost finished. You can go back if you like.”

I did. Big mistake. The stylist was putting the finishing touches on C’s hair.

“Were you able to get everything,” said C.

“Yes,” I said meekly.

“Let’s see.”

“Here?” I said.

“Sure. Let’s see the boy shorts you got”

“Here?” I repeated.

“Come on Throck; show me.”

I fumbled in the bag and pulled out the gauzy pink panty.

“Hold them up for me”

“C, please”

“Hold them up.”

I held the panty up for everyone to view.

“I think he bought the wrong size for you,” the hair stylist giggled.

“Oh, they’re not for me, they’re for him.”

“Really,” said the stylist. A knowing grin spread across her face.

I could feel the heat of a blush rising in my face. I had never suffered such indignity at C’s hand. What had gotten into her?

The stylist removed the drape from C and we followed her to the receptionist desk. C had granted me a little mercy by not making me show the lollipop panties, and by not telling everyone she was going to spank me in them. C paid the bill and we left. I was still blushing.

“Was that hard?” said C.

“It was awful,” I said.

“Well, it’s all over now. All you have left is the spanking,” C said patting me on the bottom. “Did you get the notes?”

“Yes,” I said sullenly.

“Well, let’s go have fun at the wedding. I can’t decide which panties to make you wear under your tux.”

C finally decided to make me wear the cotton lollipop panties to the wedding, and she promised to tell Rosalynn, her cousin and mother of the groom, what I had on if I misbehaved with the bridesmaids. I wasn’t sure what constituted misbehavior, but I tried to be very good at the wedding and the reception.

To be continued

Artist: SH from OTK_FMS Yahoo Group

A Punishment Book

2009-09-19T12:29:00.005-04:00

How can I manage to get frequent spankings from C? I love them so much. For the last two months I have gotten one about every two weeks. I could use a spanking much more frequently, but C seems to have a hard time coming up with things to punish me for, and, although she doesn’t really need a reason to spank me, that seems to be the model (the discipline spanking) that has evolved in our relationship.

Yesterday, I floated the idea of a “punishment book” to C. I could record my transgressions in the journal and C could assign a number of strokes for each transgression. I thought that I could write down some of the more common transgressions in the front of the book to help C out, for example, being impatient with her when she asks me a computer question. That always annoys her, and I really should be spanked for that since I’m not a techno whizz myself. C didn’t seem enthusiastic.

“I’ll only spank you when I want to,” said C.

Today C needed some stationary supplies and I accompanied her to the store (with an ulterior motive). I found an inexpensive small leather bound journal. I picked it up and found C.

I showed her the journal and whispered, ”Couldn’t we give the ‘Naughty Book’ a try?”

“Okay,” said C, looking exasperated, and clearly not wanting to get into a discussion in the store. I thought latter that I acted like a naughty child taking advantage of his mother, but I do really want to do something to give C more control and give me more spankings. I mean, really, I should get a spanking for taking advantage of her like that, but she of course will overlook that transgression.

I think it would be exciting to have C make me write in the “Naughty Book” when I have done something, well, naughty. It would underline her control over me and it would give me those wonderful butterflies that I get when anticipating a spanking.

The problem with all of this is that, again, it is “me-focused.” I really want C to enjoy controlling and spanking me. I really want her to get something out of it, but I’m not sure she has reached that point yet.

Anyway, I have to set up the “Naughty Book” with some kind of protocol. For example I was thinking a basic spanking, e.g. maintenance, should be about ten strokes, and strokes assessed for infractions should be added to the basic spanking. It would be at C’s discretion when to give a spanking and how many infractions she would remedy with each spanking. So, for example, if C reviewed the “Naughty Book” and I had been disrespectful (5 strokes), masturbated without permission (5 strokes, if I get caught), waked her up in the middle of the night with my watch alarm that I often forget to turn off (10 strokes), I would get a total of thirty strokes. I don’t know if I could take thirty strokes if she chose the bath brush.

Now, I like the idea of recording all the little things that C could spank me for, and anticipating a spanking is always exciting, but I also like the element of surprise as, for example, when C surprised me with a spanking last weekend.

Anyway, that is the idea. Does anybody have any thoughts or suggestions?

The Positive Effects of Spanking

2009-09-18T10:26:00.002-04:00

Well, I’m still having a high from my Sunday spanking. I commented to Hermione that there is a definite effect on the attitude of the male spankee after a spanking. In my case, the ritual control exercised in our spanking ritual extends for many days after the spanking occurs.

As an example, on Monday I had an appointment at the hospital that serves our area. I also badly needed to go to the hospital business office and try, again, to sort out an insurance debacle that has been dogging me for nearly a year. I was dreading it. My appointment took much longer than I had expected. I had to be tested and then seen by a physician, who, was running behind. When I finished with the appointment, I thought to myself, “I’ve spent too much time here. I’m not going to deal with this insurance issue today.” I left the hospital, got in my car and drove off.

Five minutes later I was thinking to myself, “C was good enough to put me through a spanking yesterday, even though she was recovering from a cold. She really wants some resolution of this insurance issue, and will ask me about it when I get home. I really can’t tell her I have put this off.” Although, had I gone home that evening and told C I had put off dealing with the problem I might have gotten a spanking. But that’s not fair to C, is it?

I turned around, went back to the hospital, and dealt with the problem. As luck would have it, I got a very decent representative and we may have made some progress.

In the last few months I have been surprised by this connection between spanking and my tendency not to procrastinate in carrying out C’s wishes; I don’t procrastinate, at least not nearly as much. I want to get things done for her.

Now this blog is about a real relationship and I always have to keep reality in mind. I know C views this spanking ritual as a little role play game that she would probably not choose to play given other circumstances. She gets better at it every time, but I know that she does it primarily because she loves me and wants to make me happy.

I, on the other hand, do want C’s control and I want a ritual that manifests the fact that I will submit to her control. I view spanking as the perfect ritual for that goal. The pain makes it real. The remarkable thing is that the control somehow extends beyond the ritual. I don’t quite understand that, but I suppose it may be a good thing.

Artist: possibly Sardax from T.A.K.S.A Yahoo Group

A Sunday Spanking

2009-09-14T11:43:00.003-04:00

Wow! I got a spanking yesterday. It caught me completely by surprise. C has been sick with a bad cold lately, but she woke up feeling much better Sunday morning. I brought her her morning coffee and the newspaper, and got back into bed.

She looked down at me and said, “You know, I was very annoyed with you yesterday. They called from the groomer and asked why you weren’t there to pick up the dogs.”

“I was only a few minutes late. They said the dogs wouldn’t be ready until after 4:00 and I got there at 4:30.” I said, not realizing what C’s sudden change in mood was all about.

“Yes, but I tried to call you too, both at your office and on your cell phone. I was getting very worried.”

“Well, I don’t know why the cell phone didn’t work; you probably just missed me at the office.”

“Well in any case,” said C, “I think you need a spanking. Go put on some punishment panties, and you need to do some corner time while I finish the newspaper.”

I now realized what it was about, and I got little butterflies in my stomach. I dutifully put on her favorite pair of punishment panties, a little pink thing with black lace, and took my place in the corner. It was the Sunday paper she was reading; I was in the corner quite a while.

“It’s almost time, I think you should go get the bath brush and then back in the corner.” C said casually turning the page of her paper.

The terrible Vermont Country Store bath brush, I fetched it from the bathroom and returned to the corner. My legs were shaking. It was cool in the house. I couldn’t decide whether I was cold or nervous. I new this was going to hurt, but one can never know quite how much.

After another ten minutes, C got up and came to the corner and put her arms around me pressing her breasts into my back.

“I’m going to punish you now. I don’t like to, but it has to be done. Come over to the ottoman.”

I followed C to the ottoman and as she sat down I knelt at her feet, handed her the bath brush, hugged her and said, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” She said. “Stand up and get across my lap.”

I did as I was told. Once over her lap I gripped the leg of the ottoman with my left hand and balanced myself on the floor with my right arm. This is where the reality starts to set in. I knew there would be pain.

C pulled down my panties and made little circles with the bath brush on both cheeks. Then she started. C is not much of a scolder; she simply spanks. The pain was fairly intense from the beginning. I cried out with each stroke, and then began to squirm. I think she only gave me fifteen or twenty strokes, but the Vermont Country Store bath brush is a wicked instrument.

“It’s over now,” said C. She took me back to bed and held me. Oh, the bonding rush. It makes the pain really worthwhile. I don’t know that I ever feel in love like I do after a spanking from C.

Artist: Tommy Tippie

Hugs

2009-09-10T16:08:00.003-04:00

I read the following paragraph in a description of a “Good Spanking” in the message board of a Yahoo Group. It is apparently from a now defunct blog, and I assume it is public domain.

After a spanking:

A hug is traditional. No other form of exchange is required, or should be expected. Spanking can be sexually arousing, but to enjoy it to it's fullest it should never be considered "foreplay." It's a very special path to pleasure that creates a satisfaction all its own. Whether erotic or disciplinary, spanking should be enjoyed as just that and not be co-mingled with other emotional experiences and responses. Else all the vitality, relaxation and satisfaction are compromised.

I tend to agree with this assessment and this has been my experience of late. Mind you, I’ll take a good spanking from C any way I can get it! If she wants to do it as foreplay, so be it. But, I think I prefer a discipline spanking with simple hugs and cuddles afterward in order to experience the optimum bonding rush.

As it turns out C accidentally head this post. I had typed it in Word before posting and Word lists the last few posts when you go the file menu.

“So you don’t want to have sex after a spanking, you just want to be hugged?” C said as we cuddled in bed the other night.

The statement caught me off guard. Did I detect a little disappointment in her tone? “Where is that coming from?” I asked, realizing almost immediately that she had read the first draft of my blog post.

“I read something you had written in Word. You said you preferred hugs to sex.”

“Well, that’s what you did the last time you spanked me, and I liked it. I found this article on a “Good Spanking,” and I thought maybe it justified the reason I liked only hugs with no sex. I was going to post it to my blog to see what other people think. But I like sex with you too. You should read my blog. I have a hard time articulating these things.”

“Hmmm. Would you rub my back, please?”

I do have a hard time articulating my thoughts on spankings and sex to C, partly because I only get to do it in thirty second intervals. That is indeed why I started to blog; to organize my thoughts, to get feedback from people with more experience than I, and at some point relate all of this to C in an organized way. I don’t mind at all that she read the draft post, but I’m afraid that she may have taken it out of context.

Anyway, I’ve digressed. I was going somewhere else with this post.

Do other people find that sex distracts from the bonding rush one experiences after spanking? Is it better to use spankings as fore foreplay, i.e. have a spanking six to twelve hours before sex? Since I regard spanking as a submission ritual wherein I demonstrate my dependence and submission to my wife, I regard missionary sex immediately after a spanking as somewhat in conflict with the goal of the ritual. Furthermore, I don’t recall having the bonding rush when we have used spanking as foreplay. I really love that bonding rush.

I wonder what other people think.

Artwork by: Miss Francy

Coming Clean

2009-09-04T08:46:00.001-04:00

I told C about my blog last night. I had had a good day that turned sour after I got home and I tried to resolve an insurance issue over the phone. I told C that I didn’t feel like cooking, and we should go to a restaurant. My attitude didn’t improve much at the restaurant, and I just picked at my food.

C said, “Don’t worry, this thing will get resolved. And, I will make you feel better. I’ll spank you.”

Oh! My favorite subject. I don’t know what made me do it but I just said, “You know, C, I have a spanking blog.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re kidding!”

“No, I’ve had it for a couple of months. I’ll show it to you when we get home.”

“Not tonight,” said C.

When we got home I offered again to show C my blog, but she declined. However, she didn’t seem too distressed at the knowledge I had started a blog dealing with my thoughts on spanking. It is actually fine with me if she never reads it. Reading it might stress her out. I feel much better that she knows about the Blog; I don’t like keeping secrets from C.

I just love C. Her one statement at the restaurant was like a flash of sunshine illuminating the fact that she understands me, and acknowledges the dependence I have on her.

I haven’t gotten the spanking she promised me, yet. I suppose it would fall into the category of a stress relief spanking. I’ve never experienced one of those.

Artist: unknown (Jay Em?), from T.A.K.S.A Yahoo Group

Control

2009-09-03T10:15:00.000-04:00

I really don’t like to ask for a spanking, but as my need intensifies I do. The spanking submission ritual is greatly enhanced if C controls it from beginning to end. In part, it is C’s control I crave as well as the bonding rush that follows. The control actually extends beyond the spanking. I don’t think C recognizes this yet, but I do.

I have read comments by other bloggers in F/M discipline relationships that spanking solves problems, clears the air and provides benefits to the wife in the form of a well behaved, obedient and helpful husband. I have always been skeptical of such claims.

In particular, in our relationship, “problems” are basically contrived to provide a foil for a ritual spanking. C would never use a spanking to solve a real relationship problem (at least I don’t think she would at this point in time, although I would probably submit to that). Consequently, the benefit of a well behaved, obedient and helpful husband should not necessarily be the result of C spanking me. However, I have noted that my recent spankings may be the cause that has produced that very effect.

I’ll give an example. I received a mind blowing spanking on Friday, almost two weeks ago. I basked in the glow of it all weekend which was fortunate because there was no glow from the sun. It rained all weekend. As a result of the rain, I couldn’t cut the grass (which didn’t hurt my feelings at all). However, about the middle of the week C said, “You know, it’s supposed to rain again this coming weekend. Do you think you should cut the grass after work tomorrow?” As I have mentioned in the past, C loves to look out at a freshly mowed lawn. Now, normally the last thing I would want to do is cut the grass after work, and since the days are getting shorter, I would have to spend two evenings after work to get it done. But, I did it. It surprised me, but I did it with the complete knowledge that I was cutting the grass to curry C’s pleasure and as a result of her control vis-à-vis the spanking she had given me the previous Friday.

It took Thursday and Friday evening to cut all the grass. After cutting the grass Friday, I came in and cooked dinner, and because C was busy with something she was interested in I told her I would clean up the kitchen as well. C often helps with that or does it herself on the grounds that she wants me to exercise on the treadmill after dinner.

The next morning we were lying in bed and C was having her coffee and reading the paper. C said, “I’m sorry I was such a slug last night.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you cut the grass, cooked dinner, and cleaned up the kitchen, and I did nothing. I feel guilty.”

“Don’t. I like to do things for you. I like to submit to your desires, and I like it that you allow me to demonstrate my submission by spanking me. That’s why you got your grass cut during the week.”

“You’re too sweet to spank,” said C, patting me on the bottom.

Well, I keep trying, but what am I going to do. I still don’t think C fully gets it. I started back on my diet and exercise program this week because I know C wants me to. I had lost twenty pounds earlier in the year, but have gained ten pounds back (should have gotten a spanking for that!). I’m beginning to love and even need her control, and she seems to be oblivious to it. Perhaps in a few months I’ll look better in my punishment panties.

Photo: from Naughty_Husband Yahoo Group

The Rational for Special Clothing in the Submission Ritual

2009-09-02T10:29:00.001-04:00

I don’t consider myself a cross dresser, but our spanking ritual is embellished with “punishment panties.” I wear feminine panties prior to and during my spanking and afterward around my knees for corner time (assuming I get corner time afterward). Now, this seems to be a fairly common ritual in the F/M spanking community. As many as thirty percent of the F/M spanking bloggers mention the use of panties in their rituals, and it is very common to see mention in the F/M groups.

I, for one, have always had an interest in women’s underwear and I think this is not an uncommon interest among men. As examples of this interest, consider college panty raids and the great popularity of Victoria’s Secret fashion shows among males.

I can trace my interest in women’s underwear to a very early age. In the fifties everyone had a Sears and Roebuck catalogue, and I had an interest in three sections of the book: the toys section, the home health aids section and the women’s and girl’s underwear section. This was not exactly a Victoria’s Secret catalogue but there were models, women and girls, in their underwear. I knew, perhaps instinctively, that girl’s panties covered something quite different from what my underwear covered and I was fascinated by what it might be. I also felt that I should not be looking at that section of the catalogue and that I would be quite embarrassed if my mother found me out. There was guilt associated with having prurient interest in women’s underwear. I was very young, maybe five or six when I started doing this.

When I was about the same age, I taught myself a crude form of masturbation. People seem to doubt that fact, but it is true. When I would masturbate, I would fantasize about Cynthia in nothing but panties. I would fantasize about what those panties covered. I didn’t know. Believe it or not, if I was lucky, I would have a little tickling orgasm while fantasizing about Cynthia. At six, I was in love with Cynthia and, in my fantasies, her panties.

I grew up, and went to college. In the sixties college boys engaged in a pastime that, in the south, we called “shooting squirrels.” The term referred to catching a sneak peak up a woman’s skirt to see her panties and then fantasizing about the delicious part of her anatomy that the panties covered. In those days all college women were required to wear dresses in public by male chauvinist college administrators and their persimmon lipped matron minions, usually deans of women students. The squirrel-shooting activity was often best accomplished in the library where, on the pretense of studying, one would take a seat at a library table facing a girl one table over. Skirts were getting shorter in the sixties, and if one were lucky, one could get a good view of a lovely pair of panties covering the object of all men’s desire. Occasionally, the young woman would accommodate you by opening her legs a bit, giving you and enhanced view. I loved this activity and I always wondered what it would feel like to be encased in a pair of those lacy or satiny under things.

I had a very unconventional roommate in college. He was extremely heterosexual, masculine and girls loved him, but in many ways he was on the fringe; he still is. He loved silk, and somewhere he found out how to order silk underwear. These were silk briefs and bikini briefs in fuchsia, pink, burgundy and baby blue. He wore them without compunction, and I chided him for being a bit strange. Secretly, I really wanted to wear them myself, but my twenty year old macho personality wouldn’t allow it at the time.

I eventually married a lovely woman who was tall and slender and beautiful and looked wonderful in lingerie. She is still my wife today. I loved to sneak into her lingerie drawers and I eventually got up the nerve to go into lingerie stores and buy her panties and nightgowns and things. If the sales staff thought I was a cross dresser, they didn’t say anything and generally were quite helpful. I don't think I was a cross dresser, but occasionally, if my wife went out of town on business I would try on a pair of her lace or satin panties. They felt great. However, I didn’t risk wearing them too long and there was always the risk of stretching them. When I did wear them, I felt extremely naughty in a delicious sort of way, rather like I felt when I would look at the girl models in their panties in the Sears and Roebuck catalogue. The old guilt feelings were there as well.

All this time my interest in spanking was developing and growing stronger. One day I came across a paperback book in one of the large chain bookstores titled “Submissions” by Grant Andrews. It was simply in with the fiction books. At the time, I don’t think the large bookstores had erotic or pornographic sections. The book was a fairly well written Femdom novel about one man’s submission to a group of dominant women that he had assembled in a special secluded home he built in order to live a 24/7 Femdom lifestyle. In that novel, I was introduced to the concept of “punishment panties” and it fascinated and titillated me. The protagonist was made to wear special punishment panties for all of his frequent punishments.

As the web developed and more F/M spanking forums and blogs came on line I began to realize that the concept of punishment panties was not uncommon among F/M males, or female dominants for that matter. I incorporated the idea into my spanking fantasies.

When I finally came out to my wife about my interest in having her discipline me, it was incumbent on me to develop a spanking ritual (she would have had no concept of a spanking ritual). I had a pair of punishment panties available in the form of a black male thong that my wife and daughters had bought me one year as a gag gift for Christmas. I explained to her that when she disciplined me, she should make me wear nothing but the punishment panties, do corner time, etc, etc. My wife took all this in, but with a look of great disbelief. Then I made the first great error in my planned adventure into spanko life. I told my wife that, really, my punishment panties should be a pair of her panties, and that I had occasionally tried some of them on when she went out of town.

Now, my wife has always known that I’m a little kinky, but this apparently went over the line. She told me that under no circumstances was she going to put me in her panties, and that I was to absolutely stay away from her underwear. Furthermore, she thought this whole thing was nuts! End of spanking adventure.

A number of months went by and my desire to be spanked by my wife did not subside. I had always wished that the spanking ritual would come naturally to her, but it didn’t and probably never would.

We live in the Northeast and one weekend we were driving through Vermont and came upon the Vermont Country Store. This is a very large store that sells mostly “retro” everything. I was aware of the store because several spanking bloggers have mentioned the Vermont Country Store bath brush as a spanking implement, and even pictured in their blog. I had checked the Vermont Country Store web site several times but no bath brush was listed for sale. It had apparently been discontinued. However, walking through the store I saw one hanging on the wall. I showed my wife and asked her if I could buy it. She just rolled her eyes, but said I could. She knew exactly what I was thinking. The store clerk probably knew what I was thinking, as well. She had a little smirk on her face when we checked out. My guess is that that brush is rarely used as a bath brush, and the Vermont Country Store people know it. In any case, the purchase gave a not-so-subtle hint to my wife that my interest in having her spank me was alive and well.

Panties were still an undercurrent in my spanking fantasies. I searched the web for something suitable and initially came upon a site for men that sold rather nice underwear. The underwear was distinctively male but had a lingerie look to it. It was also very expensive Italian lingerie. I bought a few pairs and showed them to my wife explaining that this underwear was essentially lingerie for men (note the fuller cut), and we could use these as “punishment panties” (hint, hint). She looked at me as if to say “You are crazy!” But, I think I had beaten her down and she agreed to spank me on Saturday morning in my new “punishment panties.” She stuck to her promise and carried out the ritual as best she could. Saturday morning she told me to dress in my punishment panties, and do some corner time. Then she put me over her lap, bared my bottom and gave me a tentative spanking with the bath brush (Actually that bath brush does hurt!). We were on our way, or so I hoped.

Since that time I have found several sites that sell men’s panties, and much less expensively than the Italian site. I have quite a collection now, but they are seldom used. I had hoped my wife would make me wear them all day in anticipation of a spanking, but she doesn’t seem to want to do that. (What if you were in a car wreck?). I find that my desire to wear the panties increases as my desire for a spanking intensifies. And, occasionally I do sneak them on and wear them all day. My hope is that my wife will catch me wearing them without her permission and give me a spanking.

So, why my obsession with panties and what is the relationship to spanking? For me, panties increase the naughtiness factor by at least a factor of two. I have always had a prurient interest in panties, and I feel very naughty in sort of a delicious when I wear them.

Some women object to the idea of forced feminization of the male for humiliation with the argument, “Why should being feminine be humiliating?” I don’t view wearing panties as primarily a humiliation ritual (although, there is a bit of humiliation present for reasons I’ll discuss below), but value the practice for its symbolic nature. As a symbol during a spanking, my wife “making” me wear panties says to me, “For the duration of this ritual, my femininity trumps your masculinity and I am in control. It’s like the scissors-cloth-stones game we played as children, where scissors trump, or cut cloth, cloth trumps, or covers stones and stones trump, or break scissors. Her feminine cloth trumps my stones, so to speak. It might be better if they were her panties, but the symbol is there, and I have to do the best I can.

Finally, because my wife thinks that wearing panties, even male Italian lingerie, is a bit silly, wearing them does throw a little humiliation into the mix. The humiliation exists by virtue of my wife’s attitude, not because she or I view femininity to be a lesser quality than masculinity. I find that on the occasions that I do wear them all day, I try to avoid her having knowledge of it. I put them on out of her sight and I undress out of her sight. Even though I know she knows I have them and wear them occasionally, I’m slightly embarrassed by the fact.

I had suggested to her that I should ask her permission to wear them, but she has never been too interested in that game. I know, if I wear them secretly, that she will find them in the laundry basket latter in the week, and I continue to hope she will use it as a foil for a spanking. “Throck! I see you wore your punishment panties without my permission. You can just go put these right back on and go to the corner. You’re going to get a sound spanking with my bath brush!” That is the fantasy I have while wearing them anyway.

There is a very fine line that one walks in using special clothing in a submission ritual. In no way should the ritual become perverse in the mind of either participant. The participants must be aware of the symbolism of the clothing and although there may be elements of humiliation for the duration of the ritual, the mutual respect the participants have for each other should not be compromised. So this is a bit of a dilemma with me and punishment panties, but so far C has, I think, accepted it for what it is.

In any case, I believe using special clothing in the submission ritual enhances the “naughtiness” factor significantly. This, I believe, is true regardless of the gender of the spankee. I have read about female spankees desiring to wear special “little girl” pajamas or schoolgirl uniforms. Since with many spanking couples, the reasons for a spanking, even a discipline spanking, are contrived, I believe anything that can be done to enhance the naughtiness factor and the symbolism within the ritual, ultimately adds value to the spanking.

Well, the above long-winded ramble is my rationalization for wearing punishment panties. But, who knows, maybe I’m just a cross dresser.

The Concept of Spanking

2009-08-28T15:47:00.001-04:00

Virtually everyone in the adult spanking community agrees that spanking is not a good idea for children. Now, anecdotal evidence suggests that the spanking community has an age distribution that is heavily weighted to the over forty side, maybe even over fifty. These people grew up when spanking children was not unusual, although many claim they were never spanked.

I recall that during my time in junior high school and high school, in the fifties and sixties, every gym coach had a paddle, and would certainly not hesitate to use it on bad boys. I witnessed many a “bad boy” paddling in my teen years (I assume that there may have been “bad girls” too, but I never witnessed one getting spanked).

Indeed, I taught in a middle school myself in the late sixties, and although I never used it, there was a paddle hanging by the door of every classroom, and it served as a warning to any child who might step out of line. Yes, this was in the late sixties! Looking back on that time, I find it hard to believe that any parent would abdicate that much authority to a teacher, and particularly a teacher of eleven to fourteen year old children.

The protocol at the time was that, whenever a child was spanked, there had to be another adult witness, presumably to insure that there was no abuse (Can you believe it? It’s true!). The teacher in the room next door to me was quite the spanker, and I was called into the hall on many occasions to witness a spanking. I don’t recall that I witnessed any girls being spanked (the teacher next door was male, and I can’t recall if there were rules about spanking female students), but I saw many a boy’s bottom blistered. The paddles that were used were wicked things as well. They were heavy and had holes drilled in them. It still amazes me that these paddles were actually issued by the school. I don’t know who made the paddles, probably the shop teacher or perhaps even the children themselves as a “project.” It surprises me that I didn’t find the whole activity perverse at the time.

Now, the point is that almost everyone over forty probably has had some experience with spanking. If they did not experience the physical act personally, it is very likely they observed it. The question is does that experience have any bearing on the fact that there are so many spankaphiles over the age of forty? Or is the fact that we seem to be an older crowd, only a consequence of the fact that we have the confidence to “come out” to our partner.

Assume for the moment that all spanking of children ceased. Would we, in that case, have any knowledge of spanking? Would spankaphiles still exist? Is the concept of spanking something that is woven into the mental cloth of the human animal? If we had never experienced or witnessed a spanking as a child, would we still have the desire to be slapped on the bottom by our lover? Is pain associated with loving something all humans need, and if so would that imply all people are spankaphiles on some level?

I sure would like some answers to these questions.

Artist: Sardax, from the T.A.K.S.A. Yahoo Group

The Bonding Rush

2009-08-27T08:24:00.000-04:00

What I would like to know is, does anyone else experience what I call a “bonding rush” after a spanking? I described it in the post on my last spanking as an incredible feeling of closeness to, warmth for, and dependence on C. Actually, it is even more than that, but that is as close as I can come to a description. It is basically what drove me to blog.

I have experienced the bonding rush in my last three spankings and very strongly in my last two. Perhaps not so strongly in earlier spankings, when my wife was a bit more tentative about spanking. There were long intervals of time between the earlier spankings I received. Consequently, my memory may have faded a bit. I certainly enjoyed those earlier spankings, but I don’t remember the strong rush of emotion after they were over. Is the rush the result of as yet some unidentified mental change in me, or a change in C’s technique of spanking me, or something else entirely?

I wonder if the bonding experience has anything to do with the intensity of the spanking, and whether in the future I will have to endure harder and harder spankings to have the experience. My last spanking may have pushed my limits a bit. I actually want C to push my limits, but I know if I break down in any way that causes her concern, she will stop spanking me. I certainly don’t want that to happen.

In any case, the questions are:

Do other spankees experience the “bonding rush,” or some similar emotion, after a spanking?

Is the rush related to some psychological interaction between spanker and spankee or,

Is the rush related to the intensity of the spanking?

As one becomes a more seasoned spankee, do you continue to experience the bonding rush?

As one becomes a more seasoned spankee, do spankings have to become more intense to continue to experience the bonding rush?

Artist: Jay Em

Mastering the Art of a Splendid Spanking

2009-08-25T10:25:00.000-04:00

After my spanking on Friday night, I felt like I should do something for my wife to show my appreciation. Now, I’m not much of a movie buff, but my wife loves movies, so I offered to take her to a movie. She chose Julie & Julia, a movie with vignettes of Julia Child’s life interwoven with the life of a woman who tries to cook all of the recipes in “Mastering the Art of French Cooking,” and blogs about it. It was a cute movie if not a great one.

On our way home I said, “I should write a blog.”

“Not on spanking,” was C's immediate reply. I’ll have to come clean to her one day.

I then began to think someone should write a recipe book for spankings. Then someone could “bedroom test” all the recipes and blog about it. What would one title such a book? How about “Mastering the Art of a Splendid Spanking,” or, of course, “The Joy of Spanking” comes to mind. There would be sections:

Appetizers: Erotic Spankings

Soups and Salads: Stress Relief Spankings

Main Courses: Punishment Spankings

Deserts: Play Spankings

The book would of course include discussions of the ingredients of a good spanking: the spankee, the spanker, positions, spanker/spankee dialogue. Then there could be pictures, diagrams and discussion of spanking equipment: wooden spoons, spatulas, brushes, crops, canes, whips, benches and so on. And, no book would be complete without a discourse on spices and garnishes: special clothing (punishment panties), restraints, toys, insertables (ginger fig, anyone?), and pervertables.

How about the recipes?

How to Bake a Beautiful Bottom

Place spankee in corner wrapped only in punishment panties, and allow to come to room temperature.

Arrange spankee over lap and add:

1 tablespoon of love (I love you and I’m doing this for your own good).

1 teaspoon of chastisement (You are a very naughty boy, and you will receive a very hard spanking.)

A pinch of humiliation (What pretty punishment panties, but they will have to come down. Naughty boys must be spanked on their bare bottoms).

Whip for thirty strokes with a spatula.

Allow bottom to rest for one minute and observe development of a rosy pink color.

Whip with a wooden spoon another ten strokes.

Return Spankee to the corner and add ½ teaspoon of humiliation (panties down).

After fifteen minutes, rub bottom with lotion.

Place Spankee in bed and cuddle until libido rises to the appropriate level.

Serve with a cheeky red Bordeaux, or rose.

A book containing 365 recipes would be about the right length, I think. One could then blog about a spanking a day. Wouldn’t that be delicious!

Friday Spanking

2009-08-23T06:23:00.000-04:00

I think I may be seeing the benefit of blogging. It led to a spanking Friday night.

I have not revealed the blog to my wife yet. But I did send her a copy of my latest post on submission rituals. She was working at home on Friday instead in one of her satellite offices, and I decided to email her a copy of the post. I attached the file to the email, screwed up my courage, and punched send. I went back to work fully expecting to get a phone call asking, "What in world were you thinking, sending me something like that?" I didn't get one. Maybe she hadn't read it.

We were meeting for lunch at noon. When I got to the restaurant, the first thing she said was, "I got your email this morning."

"Did you read it?" I said with a little trepidation.

"Yes!" she said with a smile. "It was good. Why and when did you write it?"

"Oh, I wrote it earlier this week. I was going to post it as a comment on one of the blogs I read, but it got a little long," I lied.

"So, you were surfing the 'naughty sites' at work?"

"I guess so," I said, a bit embarrassed. "Things have been slow at work this week."

"Hmmm," was her only reply. She turned to her menu and didn't mention the subject again.

The fact that C hadn't upbraided me for the post, and also mentioned that she had thought it was good was encouraging to me. Perhaps she would begin to understand the need I have to perform these submission rituals.

That evening we were in the den watching TV. She was sitting in her leather recliner. She looked at me and said, "You know, you are going to have to be punished for surfing the 'naughty sites' at work."

"Yes," I said, hanging my head. My heart started racing.

"Go to my bedroom and put on your turquoise punishment panties and come back out here and give me a foot rub."

Wow! I didn't even know she knew I had turquoise "punishment panties."

I returned to the den dressed as she had ordered, and knelt on the floor in front of her and began to give her a foot rub. Now, as it turns out, my wife likes to have her toes kissed. More to the point, she likes to have her toes sucked on (she will kill me if she ever reads this).

I discovered this accidentally, and quite recently. My wife and daughter had been traveling and during the trip had treated themselves to a pedicure. I was giving her a foot rub shortly after her return when I commented how nice her toes looked and gave them a small kiss. She simply smiled at me and sighed. I decided to be a little bolder and give her big toe a French kiss. So I took the whole toe in my mouth. I expected to hear, "What in the world are you doing? Stop that right now!"

All I heard was "hmmmm!"

I became bolder and began to kiss, suck and lick all of her toes, first on one foot and then the other. Her sighs made it clear that she was enjoying the attention.

"You like this, don't you?"

"Oh yes!" she sighed.

Now, I found it extraordinary that C loved the attention I was paying to her toes. She is very ambivalent to oral/genital sex. Maybe I’m no good at it; maybe it has something to do with hygiene. I don’t know. But she loved having her toes attended to. And I loved doing it.

What a wonderful submission ritual. There I was, under sentence of a spanking, kneeling at C’s feet in my punishment panties, paying homage to her toes.

After fifteen or twenty minutes of foot rub and toe worship she finally said, “It’s time for bed. Go to my room and wait in the corner until I call you.”

I did as I was told. C got ready for bed, came into the bedroom and said, “It’s time. Bring me the strap.”

“You’re not going to put me over your lap for the bath brush?” I hinted. I really wanted to be across her lap even though I know it is bad form to “top from the bottom.”

“You will be across my lap, but I’m going to use the strap on you. Be quick about it now and let’s get this over with.”

I brought her the strap (It was only the third time she had used it on me). She sat on the ottoman and said, “Over my knee now.” I draped myself across her lap.

“What pretty blue panties,” she teased. “But, they will have to come down. Boys who surf ‘naughty sites’ have to have bare bottom spankings.” With those words she lowered my panties and began to spank me with the strap.

I don’t know how many strokes she gave me, but the pain was becoming intense. I was crying out with each stroke and desperately holding on to the legs of the ottoman and desperately trying not to squirm and kick too much. She paused for a moment to say something to me. I didn’t catch what she said, but I thought the spanking might be over. Wrong! She began again, and I started to wonder if I would break. After about ten more strokes, I got relief.

“It’s over. Get up and come to bed. You can wear your punishment panties the rest of the night.”

I got into bed and cuddled up close to C, and that is when I experienced my bonding rush. It is an incredible feeling of closeness to, warmth for, and dependence on C. That is why I crave her spankings. I am not sure why I have this experience but it is very real and wonderful!

I’m very excited that C played this so well. This is only my eighth spanking in about two and a half years since I came out to C as a spankaphile. However, I have had three of those eight spankings in the last month and a half, and they get better every time. I am hopeful that this relationship is moving forward, and that C is getting something out of it as well.

Artist: Puyal

A Submission Ritual

2009-08-20T10:11:00.001-04:00

I have given a great deal of thought to why I want my wife to discipline me by spanking me. I truly want her to give me a spanking that hurts for some perceived infraction of “her rules,” or something I do that annoys her.

My wife and I have been married a very long time. In fact we have a very good vanilla marriage. I probably appear to be very vanilla. No one on the outside would really suspect this “kink” I have. At least I don’t think so. But I do have this very real desire to be spanked by my wife. So, where does this desire of mine come from, and is it just a kink, or is there something more to it? To help explain my desire for this activity, I have come up with a model that I call the “Submission Ritual” model. I will try to explain it below.

My wife and I, I feel, are equal partners in our marriage. We are both well educated professionals with long careers and we work together to solve the normal domestic problems, finances, children, etc. I do all the normal “male” chores, cutting grass, fixing what I can fix around the house, as well as some that are typically thought of as female, cooking, grocery shopping, some house cleaning. I don’t do these chores because my wife demands this of me by virtue of my position in the relationship; it is just the way our relationship has evolved. I like to cook and have always been interested in food. My wife takes more of a utilitarian approach to food but is always very appreciative of the meals I prepare for her. Since I cook it is logical that I do the grocery shopping. My wife works at home a lot, so I try to help out with the cleaning. That is not such an onerous chore since we are fortunate enough to have someone come in and clean a few times a week. The one chore she does not let me do is the laundry, since I have bungled it several times (should have gotten a spanking), and she is very particular about her clothes.

The one job I don’t like, and think is a major waste of time, is cutting grass. I’ve had a hard time finding someone reliable to do it for me. We have a fairly large yard with lots of ornamental trees, and it takes several hours to cut. But, my wife loves to see a nice green, freshly mowed lawn so I try to make sure it is cut every five to seven days. I often look at myself, and think of myself as a stealth submissive. But the point is I like to do things for my wife. I don’t feel that she is taking advantage of me or doming me, and she is no slacker herself; it is simply the way our relationship has evolved, and I like it. She wakes up every Saturday morning and says “Do you have a plan?” I know that she has a plan and I usually defer to it if possible. My wife does not see me as submissive at all.

And there is the problem. I need a submission ritual. Early in our marriage, I recognized some desire for submission. I think many young males have fantasies about being dommed in bed occasionally. Sexual intercourse is most often practiced as a female submissive ritual. Although it need not be that way it is convenient. I need a very definite submission ritual to indicate to my wife in a symbolic, physical and sexual way that she is a very important person to me. To me, intercourse feels more like I am taking instead of giving. I feel I need that physical submission ritual to bond with my wife.

Why spanking? Certainly spanking is discredited as a form of discipline for children. That is because the appropriate discipline model is rarely applied. Children are generally spanked because the parent is at their wits end with the child and they “lose it,” so to speak. It accomplishes nothing and may do damage.

The appropriate discipline model is: I am the authority figure that loves you and is responsible for your proper behavioral development. You have behaved badly, and you have to understand there are consequences for bad behavior. I want you to think about your behavior and how you can improve it. We will discuss it, and then the consequence for you is that you will be punished with a spanking.

This discipline model, I think, works really well in an adult submission ritual between partners. Spanking is an intimate, in some sense sexual, activity with the spankee naked or partially naked, draped across the lap of his partner. Based on the above discipline model, the ritual involves authority, love and a touch of contrition/humiliation for the spankee. But the best part of the spanking submission ritual is that the pain of the spanking gives the ritual reality. Everything else that goes with spanking, anticipation, corner time, special clothing, etc., is icing. Every spankee knows, whether he likes it or not, that the pain of the spanking is what gives the ritual concreteness, and that, lacking, would negate the whole process.

The submission ritual model then provides a general model that, between loving partners:

Acknowledges the authority of one partner over the other (at least for the duration of the ritual).

Expresses the love of the authority figure for the submissive partner.

Expresses humility in love of the submissive partner before the authority figure.

Has sexual elements (since it is conducted in the context of a sexual relationship).

Has elements that create reality for the ritual (for example the pain of a spanking).

Ideally, creates a bonding experience between partners as a result of the activity.

The activities the submission ritual model covers could range from wedding vows, to giving your partner a foot rub on demand, to spanking, to much more intense activities. Spanking seems to be a popular submission ritual because it is easily implemented, easily embellished and provides just enough physical sensation to make it real. Intercourse may or may not have all of the components of the submission ritual. That will depend in part on the attitudes of the participants. Furthermore, pain may accentuate reality better than orgasmic pleasure which seems to me to tend more toward the surreal. In any case, my preference is for spanking since I regard intercourse as basically “female submissive,” and making it otherwise might not be particularly convenient or palatable for my wife.

My need for the submission ritual seems to intensify with time, even exponentially since I have had a taste of it now. As I said above I had indications of the need as a younger man. Over the years I hinted about it to my wife without much success. Then finally, several years ago, I “outed” myself to my wife very explicitly. I don’t know if this is the experience of many other F/M spankaphiles, but I have noticed in browsing spanking and F/M groups and blogs that many of the F/M males who engage in spanking are over fifty. I can only surmise that these are men who are confidant enough in their relationship to ask there partners to practice submission rituals with them, spanking as well as other submission rituals in some cases. Their masculinity is not threatened by their desire for such rituals, but rather their desire has grown and intensified over time in a stable and loving relationship with their partner. Furthermore their desire arises from a need to give to their partner some concrete symbol of their submission in love. This is an exchange process in some sense. As my wife submits to me in love I offer myself in submission. When I submit in this way to my wife I experience a bonding sensation that I don’t completely understand but is definitely there. I believe there is a real need for submission rituals in any good long term relationship, and, in fact, I think they always exist between partners, although they may not manifest as a spanking submission ritual.

The problem is to convince my wife that this means more to me than just a silly sex game we play. Of course, when I came out to my wife I created a spanking ritual and couched it as a game, which may have been an error on my part. There can be a play aspect to it, but I would, nevertheless, like her to take it seriously and initiate the ritual as needed, which is frequently. The second problem is that I am still taking in a sense, or, phrased as a question, “Am I taking more than I’m giving?” I am afraid I may be. I may be the only one that feels the bonding rush. I have difficulty gagging her feelings on this. In my mind, I am giving something both physical and symbolic to her, a physical and symbolic acknowledgment that she is so important to me that I am willing to submit to her authority and her humiliating and painful punishment. However, my wife may not particularly want that physical/symbolic gift.

My hope is that my wife will one day understand the depth of my feeling, and will get something out of the ritual herself. I love my wife and I love her firm but loving discipline.

(artist: Sardax, from T.A.K.S.A. Yahoo Group)

Is Spankaphilia a Syndrome

2009-08-18T13:38:00.000-04:00

From Wikipedia:

In medicine and psychology, the term syndrome refers to the association of several clinically recognizable features, signs (observed by a physician), symptoms (reported by the patient), phenomena or characteristics that often occur together, so that the presence of one feature alerts the physician to the presence of the others. In recent decades the term has been used outside of medicine to refer to a combination of phenomena seen in association.

I have noted in my blog surfing that the male spankees in F/M relationships often share an interest in a constellation of activities that are ancillary to the primary spanking activity. Chief among these is the wearing of feminine panties as part of their spanking activity. Somewhat less common, in those whose primary focus is on spanking, is a proclivity toward anal activities such as punishment enemas and strap-on sex. I am curious then as to whether, given the above definition, F/m spankaphilia is a syndrome with anal and crossdressing elements having broad variation in expression.

If indeed F/M spankaphilia is a syndrome, then is there some genetic profile that male spankophiles have in common? Such a genetic disposition to spanking submission and humiliation would probably display a wide spectrum of variation as reflected in the intensity of pain and humiliation the individual would require in order to have his needs met. We observe this very phenomenon on F/M spanking blogs, Femdom blogs and groups. In the blogs and groups, however, it is often difficult to sort out what is fact and fiction.

In any case are there associated attributes that might allow one to recognize a fellow F/M spanko? I myself have the “syndrome” attributes and I have often wondered if my father had them and if my son would inherit them. I always viewed my father as m somewhat submissive to my mother. Consequently, I have always wondered whether I have inherited spankaphilia or whether something in my early childhood triggered it. I am also curious how the syndrome expresses itself. That is, which of the activities is more important and in what order in time do they express themselves. I can put a definite lower bound on my spanking interest at my late twenties, although there may have been earlier interest. However, I can put a lower bound on my interest in panties and anal activities at a much earlier age between five and eight. That because I remember participating in such activities with a friend when I lived in the very first house I can remember, and I moved from that house when I was eight years old.

Interestingly, I remember two unpleasant “anal events” at a very young age. I’m not sure of the order, but in one case I was in a Catholic hospital to have my tonsils removed when I was five or six. In those days that demanded a two or three day stay in the hospital. The nurses were mostly nuns dressed in the habit of their order. They would come around three or four times a day to take my temperature rectally. I did not like it, and I complained to my mother about it. It didn’t hurt, but I must have found it humiliating. My mother said there was nothing she could do about it; that was the way they took a child's temperature in the hospital. So I had to endure the humiliation.

The second event was an enema I received sometime around the time I was six. My parents had taken me to the doctor for something; I can’t remember what. After the doctor examined me, the nurse took me back to the waiting room while my parents consulted with him. I remember not having a good feeling about what was going on. On the drive home I asked my parents what the doctor had said and they seemed reluctant to tell me. Finally my mother told me that the doctor said I needed an enema and they would give me one when we got home. I began to protest immediately. I don’t really know how I knew what an enema was. I remember no prior event. I was given a fairly large volume enema (for a child) with a fountain syringe and I made a terrible scene. I also remember that it hurt.

Strangely then, I developed an interest in “playing doctor” with a friend of mine. I would sneak the Vaseline and the child enema syringe into my room and we would use Tinker Toy sticks as rectal thermometers and also insert the enema syringe (no water). I also remember talking to a much older girl (a teenager) and her mother who were neighbors, when enemas briefly came up. I don’t remember the context but, I found it strangely erotic to talk to this teenage girl about enemas. From that time on I have been hooked on anal insertions.

Thus are the origins of my anal eroticism. Unfortunately, my wife has a tremendous aversion anal play, so that part of my syndrome does not come into play in my submission rituals. The panties are another story, and I will discuss them in a latter post.

So is the spankaphile syndrome nature or nurture? I don’t really understand the theory that claims that we eroticize unpleasant events. It makes more sense to me that we are genetically programmed to enjoy certain activities at some level. Perhaps I would have enjoyed those activities if it were not for the traumatic circumstances under which they were performed. Finally, are there other symptoms associated with the syndrome that are more overt and that might out the spankaphile? These are questions that seem to remain unanswered.

My Last Spanking

2009-08-17T10:23:00.000-04:00

I live in a rather vanilla marriage that I am trying to move more toward Female led. I am a bit of a stealth submissive to my professional wife of over thirty years. I finally "came out" to my wife a few years ago but it hasn't been completely satisfactory. My wife thinks more of my desire for submission and discipline as a sexual game, if not just an out and out fetish. She will spank me occasionally, but I usually have to give her a fairly strong hint that I need a spanking.

In fact, I was spanked last week after I indicated that I probably deserved some discipline. She picked up on this saying, "Yes, indeed, you masturbated the other night without my permission or help, jiggled the bed, and woke me up in the middle of the night. You know I don't like that." It was true, and I was a little embarrassed as I did not realize she had waked up. Unfortunately, I did not get a promise of the spanking I desired. The conversation took place during breakfast and she simply dropped the subject, as she does so often when I get up the nerve to discuss our relationship. It can be very frustrating.

That night I was cooking dinner (I do all the cooking, grocery shopping, etc.), and was surprised when my wife came in and exclaimed, "You have had a number of transgressions this week including waking me up in the middle of the night masturbating without permission. You will have to have a spanking before bed tonight. Go to my room and put on your hottest pink punishment panties. You can wear those the rest of the evening to remind you what is in store for you."

Wow! I did as she said and continued to fix dinner. We ate, and I cleaned up the kitchen. She was going to clean up the kitchen because she doesn't see me as a submissive, but I insisted on doing it. So she went to the den to watch some TV. I thought to myself that I needed to take this opportunity to advance our relationship, but I was nervous about possibly turning her off.

In any case, I finished the cleanup in the kitchen and went to the den and began to rub her feet. She loves a foot rub. I, unfortunately, am not very articulate when I talk to my wife about relationship issues, but I decided to give it a try. I tried to explain to her that this was a bit more than a game to me and I really needed her discipline. She seemed more or less disinterested.

When she decided to go to bed she told me to go to her room and strip to my punishment panties, and wait in the corner until she was ready for bed and she called me. About fifteen minutes later she came into the bedroom and told me to bring her the leather strap. I had purchased the strap over a year ago and she had only used it on me once, briefly.

I brought her the strap. She took it, and then had me position myself across the ottoman that is in the bedroom. She scolded me, and then lowered my panties and gave me thirty good strokes with the strap. They hurt. We then went to bed, me still in my punishment panties. I felt strangely bonded to her by that experience. I kept my panties on and simply cuddled with her all night.

My wife, I’m sure, does this as a game. She loves me and will do some things for me that she is not particularly interested in doing, precisely because she loves me. I don’t think she experiences the spiritual or bonding aspect of spanking that I do. Furthermore, I’m not sure I understand what brings out such feelings in me. In any case, I know it is something very real and meaningful to me and I wish she could get more out of it. Or maybe I’m over analyzing spanking; maybe it’s just fun.

(Artist: Puyal?)

The Marriage Conselor

2009-08-13T21:30:00.000-04:00

In the first few months of our marriage I made an insensitive comment to my wife that convinced her that we were headed for divorce. She insisted that we see a marriage counselor. Although I was not concerned about our marriage, and I didn't really want to see a counselor, I did so out of penance.

The counselor would talk to us jointly and then separately. When I was alone with the counselor she asked me what I wanted out of marriage, and I thought to myself " I really want my wife to spank me and be dominant," but, being a twenties something male I couldn't overcome my embarrassment and say it.

To my way of thinking, the only two things came out of the counseling sessions. My wife was mollified (which was important), and I, many years later, have been able to date my interest in being spanked to my mid twenties. My interest in spanking and other kinks probably predated that counseling event but, I have no way of putting my finger on an earlier date.

One of the reasons I married my wife is because I thought she was a "take-charge" person and I thought she would easily evolve into a woman who would be dominant on some level. I was probably very unclear what level that would be or exactly what I wanted, but I thought that whatever it was it would not be too hard to achieve. I was wrong! My wife turned out to be extremely vanilla with very traditional concepts about the roles partners played within a marriage.

Now, my marriage has been a very good one. However, there has been an underlying frustration, and in some ways an emptiness due to the fact that my wife, though she loves me, does not recognize this need I have for her discipline. I have to admit that I don't understand the need very well myself. However, I know that I want to be lovingly but seriously spanked by my wife, with some frequency, for minor irritations and infractions. My wife thinks this is silly, although, she will humor me from time to time and give me a rather tentative spanking, if I ask. To my wife this is a game. For me it goes a bit beyond a game. I know for me there is a sexual aspect to this, although, sex has not always been associated with the few spankings that I have received. I think that it is alright that the anticipation of a spanking triggers sexual feelings, since marriage is a sexual relationship. The unfortunate thing is that I don't think my wife gets much out of spanking me, either sexual or otherwise. The problem to be solved is how to make spanking me more meaningful and beneficial for my wife.

Perhaps I should go back to that marriage counselor!

(Artist: Barbara O'toole)

Introduction

2009-07-20T10:24:00.000-04:00

I have started this blog, SpankableHusband, because that is what I am; I am husband that is spankable but rarely spanked by his very vanilla wife. My goal is to try to understand, at some level, why I want this, and to develop my very loving wife into a very loving spanko wife, perhaps, with help from the community. I hope this blog will provide a vehicle to interact with the spanking community, a community in which I have lurked for many years now. I will use this blog to record some of my thoughts on the “spanking syndrome,” perhaps record some of my fantasies and spanking activities, and to communicate with others who have an interest in this activity. I am not a prolific communicator so I may not post frequently but I will post.

My last spanking was last Friday, July 17, and I had to ask for it. It was a bedtime spanking with a leather strap that I had ordered online about a year ago. I knelt on an ottoman at the end of the bed. My wife lowered my underwear and gave me about ten strokes with the strap. It hurt, but I craved more. My wife, however, is very concerned about hurting me and tends to stop as soon as my bottom turns a little red. So there’s the rub, how to get my wife to initiate a spanking, how to get the spanking I crave, and most importantly how to be sure that she gets something out of it as well.

I enjoyed the Friday spanking so much that it pushed me out of the lurkers’ world into the blogging world. My ultimate goal is to expand the horizons of my wife and myself to take optimum advantage of this wonderful kink.